The Most Useless Thing In The World Right Now

Simply, electing Jerry Springer to be the latest Air America Morning Pundit. Fucking Christ, no wonder the Democratic Party is a retro joke. These fucking decisions, man. Who's making them? Republicans, clearly.

This walking punchline makes Rush look like Bertrand Fucking Russell. What are these people thinking? I mean, we all know Air America is an impotent whinge-fest created to sell anti-W t-shirts, but at least when they had the smart lesbo and Liz Winstead in the morning they had live music on Fridays.

We're supposed to listen to this idiot yap about America's decline? Boy, that somewhat resembles listening to David Duke bitch about the evils of racism. Who on this good green globe is a bigger idiot than Jerry Springer? A bigger tosspot? A bigger Part Of The Problem? A bigger hypocrite? No one is coming to me. No one. And that includes a lot of serious idiot morons. This is what we deserve? We lefties have a vacuum of leadership comparable only to th' Arab world, apparently.

This guy is an idiot. Everybody knows that! It's a conspiracy! The emperor has no clothes? THE EMPEROR HAS NO FUCKING SKIN, JACK. Here's the only lesson to be learned from listening to this idiot: don't bitch unless you have yer own solution. I promise not to bitch unless I can come up with something. It doesn't have to be that good, but it does have to be. Remind me if I don't do this. From now on. Starting now.

Jerry Springer as Air America's new morning complaint jock. The Most Useless Thing In The World Right Now. And probably for a long while.

Until Microsoft Moves Us Forward again, that is.

Oh, the inhumanity. It's like when Bon Jovi came out and I couldn't figure out who the millions who actually bought their beyond-shite records were and then I moved to Southern California. Where people didn't even realize that The Scorpions were a wonderfully well-executed joke.

People. Idiots, all. My headache is beyond the reach of any analgesic known to man.

The solution that I promised: shoot him. Shoot him good 'n' dead. Shoot him, skin him, wear him. It's my new mantra. SHSHWH. Think of all that would solve. The multitiered approach to problem-solving. Shooting him reduces noise pollution, skinning him eases frustrations, and wearing him is just plain planet-friendly.

I live to problem-solve. Clearly. SHSHWH. Next I'll tackle illegal immigration. Actually, I'll do that now. 'Cause it's so brainlessly easy.

Just wait ten or twenty years. Pablo ain't going to WANT to creep into Arizona.

THE TRAFFIC'LL BE MOVING THE OTHER FUCKIN' WAY, WON'T IT??????????????

Glorps. I'm going to smoke some carpet now.