An Image Consultant and Tasteful Appointments

When reggae was cool for about 5 minutes when I was fifteen I wished I could be black so I could be a Rasta.

Now Rufus Wainwright makes me wish I was a fag. Then I would be all cool and gay like Rufus and people would like me and say I was courageous and edgy and like my brilliant, classically inflected and soulful music. No one accuses you of being "mannered" when you're gay. It's like telling Freddie Mercury, "you're so mannered".


But, noooo. I have to look like a not-too-clever bouncer. I've got about as much gay to me as those guys from Erasure have straight. Which is a shame, because it's a whole potential audience that WANTS you to be a performer up in smoke. And I would have this AMAZING hair if I was gay. Windswept, gun-blue locks with a touch of gaymanly grey at the temples.

It really, really makes me wish I was putting from the rough if you get my drift.


Why can't people remember that most of rock and all of punk music is better when it's mannered? Sometimes trying to be unmannered is the most insincere crap ever. Look at grunge and all that rot.


Liking girls is so 90's.

Here's the T.V. show i want to pitch- Dog Eye For the Cat Guy. It would be all, dogs trying to get cats to like sniffing ass and digging in crap and rolling in worms. Dog Eye For The Cat Guy. Watch for it on Bravo.