A Prayer To Baby Jeezis

Dear Baby Jeezis;
I just wanted to say a prayer to you and to pray that you will hep all them liberal eleet folks realize that abortion is a sin and only rich people should be able to do it safely. And ah wanted to pray that you would stop certain people from gettin' married 'cause it's bad for marriage. Ah mean, what yould happen to professional football if'n everybody started playing in their back yards? And baby Jeezis, please don't let them take th' feedin' tube outta Terry Schiavo but instead help our good boys over in Eye-raq drop some ordnance on a marketplace.
Oh, and Baby Jeezis? Could you please help them poor folks that don't believe in Intelligent Design?
I've used a one a them new-fangle corkscrew dealies? That there was some Intelligent Fuckin' Design (sorry baby Jeezis).

You lookit a 5.2 Hemi Magnum and tell me there ain't no Intelligent Design.

Good night, baby Jeezis. Thank you for givin' me a country that where I can be free even if ah can't go to th' doctor.

That's all now, baby Jeezis. G'night now.

-bobby