The Most Useless Thing In The World Right Now: The Fucking Space Shittle.

Oh, the hubris. The this. The that. Ouch.

The Space Shuttle SUCKS. I hate the stupid god damn shuttle. Oh, my god.

It's Star Trek that did this, isn't it? It's fucking Star Trek. You've gotta be able to quote every episode of every season of that crap to like or see the point of the Space fucking Shuttle.

Every time one of those wanks with the Spock ears presses the gas pedal on this piece of shit, this Ford Escort of Outer Space (actually I take that back- Escort's a fine fuckin' ride) IT'S LIKE THE GOD DAMN GNP OF SWEDEN FOR A FUCKING YEAR. It's like, 5000 people's fucking retirement. It's like 6000 orphans that will die now of starvation on the streets of Bangladesh. Fuck you, NASA. How do YOU FUCKING SLEEP WITH THIS SHIT?

God DAMN it. It's like a couple that never fucks tryin' to spice up their pointless existence by trying Bungee Jumping. It's like some guy with AIDS trying to ease his cold symptoms. It's like...it's like some fucking country that is in BIG fucking trouble PISSING MONEY DOWN THE TUBES because there aren't enough Star Trek Conventions to keep these fucking geeks occupied.

Oh, if the drugs were just a little more readily available. Oh, god. Sob.

I remember some article in th' early 80's when I was in high school writing a paper on how much the Shuttle SUCKS. The writer referred to it as "The Spruce Goose Of Outer Space". That's great. That was great back then. Now, it's like, I'd like to call it the "this" of outer space or the "that" of outer space but see, it has to go into outer space for it to be called the "anything" of outer space. Now it's like, "The Spruce Goose of the Middle Atmosphere". Now it's like "The Flying Moneysucking Coffin Of Doom".

Stupid god damn shittle. Fucking NASA. What the fuck are they thinking?

When you were a cub scout did you get to be a boy scout right away? No, you had to be a fucking WEBELOE which sucked because it sounds gay as shit. Nobody wanted to be a fucking WEBELOE. Gimme a break. We all wanted to start tying fucking knots and saving drowning people and calling the authorities when our parents got stoned or expressed solidarity for Jews. But hey, there's no shortcut, you know?

Why don't we look at SOLVING OUR HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE GOD DAMN PROBLEMS as a sort of "Webeloehood". Like, if we get a million people out of starvations way, hey, we can put a new fucking wing on the shuttle, you know? Like a reward system.

And then, when people can like go to the FUCKING DOCTOR WHEN THEY'RE FUCKING SICK, YOU KNOW? LIKE IN FUCKING POLANDY???

Hey- then we can call Mopar and GET A NEW FUCKING FUEL GAUGE.

Christ, I hate the shuttle. Big, ugly, useless moneypit piecea shit. Fuck you, shuttle. Just one of your Christing heat tiles would probably feed me for six years. It's like being a French peasant and watching Marie Fucking Anoinette wipe her ass with a thousand franc note.

The Space Shuttle: The Most Useless Thing In The World Right Now.