Achtung! White Men Over 60 With Glasses: The Enemy!

Jesus Fucking Christ! What is it with fuckin' white dudes over 60! They all start to fucking run together! Fuck! Hope I die before I get (really) old.

Is it something in th' fuckin' prostate pills? Huh? These fucking polesmokers couldn't be more dangerous and more harmful to the rest of us if they were made of fucking ricin! Shit!

And what is it about them all fucking looking the same? They're well-nigh fucking interchangable! Woah! Be afraid!!

What is it about this, huh? Is it that when you hit 60 your inner fucking Robber Baron Scumbag No-Bid Motherfucking Inner Felching Lockheed Boeing Carnegie CEO comes to th' front? Huh? Even if you're Stanislaw Lem? Even if you're Robert Heinlein? Huh? Even if you're Robert god damn Byrd?

Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. They all look the fucking same to me. Maybe it's so I only have to adjust the scope ON MY FUCKING REMINGTON JUST TH' ONCE!!! Hadn't thought of that!

Remind me, my friends, that when I hit th' Age of Fucking Veneration (like any of these fucking infant blood drinkers deserve anything but scorn and disemboweling) to a) fucking shoot myself or b) at least get some fucking contacts so I don't have to look like motherfucking Clive Davis.

Jesus Christ. I hate these old white fuckers. They're going to drag us down th' path to perdition, citizens. Fucking old coots. Jesus Christ. You show me one god damn old white dude with glasses and I'll show you a fucking sweat shop waiting to happen. I'll show you a fuckin' melting ice cap. I'll show you sadness and squalor and the magic alchemy that turns youth and joy and fucking into curdled fucking piss and stinging acid cum.

Fuck these old pricks!!!


Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

Great post. I think you should send it in to Time Magazine.

5:29 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Holy shit.

I got me some daddy issues.

9:06 PM  
Blogger teh l4m3 said...

"Fuck these old pricks!!!"

No thank you. I'd much rather get fucked by a youngish early-fourty-something prick.

PS Bobby it's my birthday and I deserve a warm, gloopy gelatinous present on my tongue dammit!!!
Oh fine... guess I'll just settle for the sloppy seconds that be Scotty "Ass In A Sling" McClellan...

2:30 AM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Happy B-day, teh-

Everyone deserves a room temp. bleach-flavored Jell-o shooter on their birthday.

8:04 PM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

I was on my way to looking like these guys - hey, genetics - but thanks to losing some weight (and planning to lose more) I may actually avoid the look of the over 60, over fed bastards who would kill us all if given the chance.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

wolfenstein- no one who listens to Barrence Whitfield can ever end up looking like a Robber Baron Scumbag. Scientific fact.

4:20 PM  

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