Bobby Lightfoot's The Dumbest Thing I Ever Said To A Cop, Number 1 of a Series

Orange, MA. Winter '02-03. Southbound 202. '86 Dodge extended Child Molestor-style Cargo Van. Expired Cali tags. The largest 2-wheel drive vehicle on the planet moving at about 2 mph in a bad snowstorm. At 2 AM.

Cop: All right, son. How many guns do you have in that thing and how much drugs?

BL: No guns and hardly any drugs.


Blogger roxtar said...

The dumbest thing most of my clients ever said to a cop:

"Naah, I don't need a lawyer. Whadda ya wanna know?"

These words should be carved over the gate to every jail and prison in America.

Although I have to admit, Bobby.....your choice is right up there.....

8:19 AM  
Blogger roxtar said...

Oooh, ooh, I thought of another one:

"The bitch was running her mouth..."

8:20 AM  
Blogger roxtar said...

And this:

"I was gonna come back and pay for it later..."

Or this:

"It's not like I'm selling it to kids or anything..."

8:22 AM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

roxtar: You need to do your own post on this. It would be too good.

10:50 AM  
Blogger XTCfan said...

"I swear she told me she was 16, Officer."

3:10 PM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

Why aren't you out chasing some real bad guys instead of hassling me? Here's a fin. Go buy yourself some Krispy Kremes!

Maybe you need some advice from Chris Rock.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Ronzoni Rigatoni said...

Whaddya mean,"she's only 15?" I picked her up inna friggin' bar! uh, oh...

True story

1:44 AM  
Blogger roxtar said...

Actually, ronzoni, that's a pretty fair defense....

9:33 PM  
Blogger fgfdsg said...

"That's obviously a gun in your pocket, because if you didn't have issues with the feeble size of your cock you wouldn't have joined the police in the first place... Officer."

2:38 AM  
Anonymous Ronzoni Rigatoni said...

Roxtar: But I didn't wanna burn the bar or the barkeep. Cousins all. Fortunately, an even better defense arose, viz., so was the copper. Besides, he "volunteered" to drive her home. Hmmmm. As my mother is fond of sayin', "All you Rigatoni's are in-bred cretins."

9:19 AM  

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