Definitely Half Empty.

Yeah? Huh? That's some half-empty motherfuckin' crap right there. Looks like it's even more than half-empty 'cause you know how glasses get a little thinner at the bottom so the actual level would have to be a tiny bit over one-half for it to qualify as fully half-empty.

But it's beautiful that it's half-empty. I mean, I don't know about you, but I certainly can stumble through my day without some crummy half-full glass crap. Plus, when it's half-empty less will spill on your crotch so you won't look like you whizzed y'self. Y'self.

It's only funny to have a stain on your crotch when it IS piss. That's funny. Having a crummy wet spot there from some glass half-full of water is just being a poseur. Just a damn pussy Pollyanna piss poseur.

That would be funny to piss yourself and go to a party and have everyone be like, "hey, hyuck hycuk ("hycuk"??) you look like you pissed y'self", and you're like, "yeah, I fucking did". You'd be all "yeah, I pissed right before I came to the party because it's cool to. Everybody knows that." You could turn it into the latest statement. it would be the cool thing to walk around with a big old stain o' piss on their trouser or slack fronts. Women, theirs would be a little lower. It's be a "hers" piss stain.

They'd sell pants that were dyed to look like they had the piss stain. There'd be like a ad cam-pain and there'd be some hip hop songs about having the piss stain at the front of your pants.

I guarantee you could turn it into the latest Fashion Statement. They'd have those magazine ads like those repulsive ones with the celebrities wearing the milk moustache except they'd have the piss stain.

And then the nu-pseudo-neo-metal guys would start having the full urine-drenched outfits and pretty soon it would be this whole thing to just be COVERED IN PISS. EVERYONE WOULD JUST BE SOAKED IN URINE. EVERYWHERE YOU WENT IT WOULD JUST BE PISS, PISS, PISS. PISS EVERYWHERE. WET CAR SEATS. WET RESTAURANT SEATS. EVERYTHING SOAKED IN PISS.

AND THEN YOU'D START TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCKING WORLD FEELS LIKE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

KKKKKKKREEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH