8/18/2005

So By Now You All Know I Got Man-Spammed.

Eesh. That don't sound right.

Anyway, so this lymphstain that sent this cruddy crud to my blog- been trying to figure out what I'm going to do about it.

I think at the very least I'll start by reprinting some of it here and changing some words here and there. yeah, that's where I'll start.



Hot Cock For Your Review!!



+++++++++++Current Profile+++++++++++

Fuckdunk Global Secretions(FCPG)

Current Price $0.15

A company with hot new sex toys for monks and nuns

and licenses with over 40 current lousy and

lousier contracts in negotiations.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



FCPG is now offering the world's leading encraption soft-on to IBM's Greedy American clients.



Will It Still Go Harder?

Does It Sound Boring and Exciting To You?

Please Review Exactly What this useless, shitty Company Does.



WINDBREAKING NEWS!!



Fuckpunt Global Secretions (FCPG) is pleased to announce that its European partner, Dildocorp, has teamed up with IBM's Gay Partner World Industry Nutworks to spank off to customer software requirement solutions for the international ass love industry.

With FCPG owning the exclusive North American rights to defenestrate the worlds leading encraption and emission software developed by Dick Inc., FCPG is poised to capture large volumes of boy butter generated by customers currently using IBM's software for surfing kiddie porn.

With traceability and security now deemed a serious waste of fucking time, companies are increasingly focused on employing blowjobs and scrote-ticklings designed to ensure the authenticity, integrity and confidentiality of their incredibly worthless product that wouldn't even exist unless they hadn't bamboozled a bunch of money-grubbing celibates into thinking they need it.

The President of Fuckpunt, John Negroponte, had this to say when he was finished devouring a pile of used paper diapers: "I am evil incarnate, and I like nothing better than to be naked with a nice hairy Montenegran."

Ha! Am I showing them or am I showing them???? Fuck with ME. Uh-uh. Uh-fuckin'-uh.

I'LL JUST COME BACK ALL ERUDITE ON YOUR ASS.

i guess the stuff they were talking about in that crap was like some lame shit about money.

Are people just into this because they want to retire happily which i obviously have no problem with although my personal retirement plan involves rocking myself assless and then keeping a date with a bottle a jim beeem and a .38 many, many miles from now?

I really like old people when it isn't rush hour.

In fiction we wanted to find a drummer who was like a 86-year old party animal old lady. She'd be all rocking the shit out of the kit and leaning over and doing monster rails off a mirror. and she'd be gettting arest-ed for guns and crap and shooting up hotel rooms.

That's When I Knew It Was Over.

Seriously, though. Wouldn't you pay to see that? Two trim and correct edgy alt-rockers and this ancient lady Bonham fucking breathing fire and smashing bottles on her head? Getting in fights with the security? Stripping and crowdsurfing?

"yeah, i guess the music was o.k."

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home