9/26/2005

Ads On Your Blog

7 Comments:

Anonymous the brentmeister general said...

Too right.
.
MARMITE

ANDREWS LIVER SALTS

DOMESTOS

HUNDREDS & THOUSANDS

GLAXO WELLCOME

5:13 PM  
Blogger Nobody said...

Call me cynical, but I soon see the day where we'll have no bloody choice if they're on there or not.

Everything becomes a commodity eventually. I predict the day where you'll be able to have parts of your memory modified for a one-off payment by the company, so every time you think of a certain product their brand name is the only one you'll buy and accept as your own. People will gladly give up their illusion of free will for the short term cash offered.

Ads in your dreams. You know it's coming.

Maybe it?ll be more extreme. Do you know by stepping on Disneyland or Disneyworld soil you're not longer on American soil by a government paid-off technicality where the laws of the United States no longer apply? (True story, look it up).

What happens when they decide to close up borders and trap those happy holiday goers as their new servile underclass? Why bother with paying third world countries contemptuous wages to make ?Little Mermaid? sleepwear when you can just take away everyone?s rights and form your own state? Up go the posters. "Mickey Maus Is Watching You". Goofy and Donald March along the main roads carrying ?Caring Clubs? and ?Cuddly Cattle Prods?.

Other states rebels Atlanta, Georgia becomes the headquarters of the Coca-Cola Coalition. Up north the fashion designers seize New York. Gap and Guess are their northern and southern factions. The Midwest ends up as the WalMart Warriors. Northwest becomes Starbucks Territory. Microsoft owns a chunk too. The war is on.

States loyal to corporations are infiltrated by ?ad terrorists? whose job it is to travel into enemy territory and tamper with the population?s mindset by putting put competing advertising. What happens when the ?Buy Coke? loudspeakers on every corner are suddenly hardwired to spit out ?Pepsi??

After a bloody battle we will end up with three classes and no choice: the rich CEOs of the last company left standing who lord over us with contempt and do whatever the fuck they want; the consumer class who buy the *one* product manufactured from the surviving company over and over again with a religious intensity because even though they have it the relentless insidious advertising makes them think they still need it; and the slave labour class, who toil in misery and subjugation to make this one useless product. The cycle of production, consumerism and exploitation finds its natural equilibrium.

There?s a 1984 style book here If I could be bothered writing it. The hero of our story who tries to fight the system and can?t win? Winston Tastesgood.

5:30 PM  
Blogger XTCfan said...

Well, of course, Simon! Why the hell do you think Google bought Blogger?

The only way we'll have left to fight them is to make sure your content and annotations elicit the most Dada-like contextual-ad response...

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Ol' Pal D said...

Oh, blah blah blah... and musicians should all give away their music for free, because they do it for love, right? I've heard all this self-righteous bullshit before, Napster fan-boy.

No one's forcing you to put ads on your blog, and you CHOOSE to use Blogger to post. If Blogger goes over and you don't like it, put your blog up somewhere else, no sweat. There will always be a free place for you to expound on and on about anything you'd like. So shut the fuck up, or at least talk fucking HIGH-SCHOOL level capitalism.

There are blogs and there are blogs, right? If you're blogging to feel the little half-chubby you get when you see your name in print, go for it, cat. But when your shit kicks Dave Barry's front teeth out and you've put in countless hours of research over a lifetime of work and you're funny as hell (read: Neddie), you've EARNED the right to try and eke out a living doing it. Sure, maybe that stretches the definition of Blogging, but maybe you're just trying to squish it down to your own tiny size.

8:26 AM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Ol' Pal Dildo-

Dry the fuck up, Mr. Carnegie. You got so much wrong with your wit-impaired ripost that I'd have to spend a lot more time than I'm willing setting you straight.

First off, you begin your elegant exposition with an *assumption* that is so dead-christing-wrong that everything that follows it is completely invalid. I never liked Napster and I pay for every fucking piece of music I consume. I'm religious about it. See, I've been a starving professional musician for more years than you've been spanking your miniwang, and I've been on and off more labels than you can count. Until I got sick of the whole fucking game.

Oh, and if you think paying for music neccesarily gets an *artist* paid, well, High School right back at you.

Why make an ass of yourself by starting what could have been a reasonable critique with a really stupid assumption? If you hadn't done that I might have actually felt the slightest bit chastened, instead of wanting to take a shower so bad.

Oh, and idiot? If my shit knocked Dave Barry's teeth out I'd know I was doing something very, very wrong. Dave Barry? You like that guy? I'm guessing you watch a lot of stupid TV shows too. I'm GUESSING, though, see? Not ASSUMING.

See how it works?

Dave Barry. Jesus. Art Buchwald with a smaller vocabulary. The WalMart Garrison Keillor. You asshole.

What the fuck is your problem?

This is a shame because it sounds like you're actually on my team. I'm saddened.

"No one's forcing me to put ads on my blog".

what the fuck are you talking about, you idiot?

Don't ever come to my blog again.

BTW- Neddie happens to be my brother. Really. My blog often leaves him sobbing with laughter.

Why don't you go fuck yourself?

Don't ever come back here again. I'll track you down through StatCounter and send you a virus in an email that looks like it came from your favorite jack off fantasy, Dave whatsisname.

Like I would EVER give a fuck about some idiot like that liking anything I do. Or you, for that matter.

Pepsico Boy. Microsoft Boy. Fuck off and don't ever come back. And when you're tempted go read some Dave fucking Barry. For some insight. Jesus Christ.

12:07 AM  
Anonymous Ol' Pal D said...

All fuckin'nnnnn RIGHT! Now THAT'S-a come-back! I was hoping for a good hack-n'-slash, but I seem to have Missed You Completely with my opening gambit... sorry 'bout that, how abouuutt...THIS!!

Coupla misunderstandings, cat - you're the words guy, I'll take the blame. Let me clarify, so you can at least lamb-baste me for the right reasons...

-"Napster-boy": not suggesting you steal music, Mr. Literal Man, just that the same wrong-headed argument(intellectual property art (in this case, blogs) should somehow be given away for free, and if it's charged-for, it's somehow devalued and should be scorned or rightfully stolen) has been used by little music-stealing shits for so long that it's actually become the status quo! Whether you meant it to or not, your statement putting down all bloggers who choose to run ads on their site comes off exactly the same way - as if all blogging is just nothing-thoughts, should be given away for free to protect some false Integrity, and any attempt to collect income from it somehow devalues it. Get it?

(BTW, you're way smart enough to know that Napster didn't kill the label-artists, it killed the chance for indies to eke out a reasonable living - and eliminated virtually all group-based experimental music by starving it out, duh)

"Dave Barry": geez, that one wasn't that tough... I fucking HATE DB, he's an example of a bad blogger, unlike, for the example I used, Neddie... The point is, Barry makes millions, and ONE of your posts provides as much goddamned entertainment as his entire year's-worth of 'output', at least to me(see, "kicks DB's teeth..."). And while you're one hell-of-a-read, Neddie's got a whole different kind of edu-tainment going on, too - and if he (or anyone else) wants to charge for it, fuck you for trying to make him feel bad - because both of you (and a whole lot of others) are kicking Barry's teeth right now. And don't lay the whole marketing/demo blahblah, I know why DB makes the big $$... not the point. Blogging is the new (fill in the blank, you're better at this than I am), let it have it's own *value* - don't kill it in the crib. In America, that means greenbacks, baby... and why not? Since when is it BAD to make money for art in America (see that's where I'd say "Napster-boy" again)?

Of fucking COURSE I'm on your side, why the hell do you think I care about your comments enough to yell at you about it? What you say carries weight, and you're dead-wrong on this one. So lemme try to piss you off again - where the fuck do you get off telling every fucking blogger that That's Not Entertainment? Who made YOU Scalia(okay, that's awkward, but I couldn't think of anyone else)? Wanna give it away for free? Go for it! Most blogs aren't meant to be Art, cool (see, "little half-chubby...") But what if the blog IS Art, cat? Could it be? If you got paid $60k/year to do it, would it be? Shouldn't the readers decide?

Your Pal D

ps please, with the email-threats, brother... your words hurt enough, can't you see? No need to get all Un-Civil.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Hee hee-

It's like a bad marriage.

We're like, agreeing, but I'm agreeing in Swahili and you're agreeing in Esperanto.

And what's funny is it turns out you're defending, like, my favorite person on th' planet, it looks like. How dare you.

Seriously, though- now that I get what you're talking about I realize what I'm sounding like. Yeah, totally. Hmm. I'm seeing it.

Nah- I just meant-actually, never mind. Maybe that's wrong too. I didn't mean to sound like I was against promoting or advertising your blig. I'm totally all over that. I love the idea of makin' some scratch like that. I meant more like takin' a cut for letting Monsanto camp out on your shit.

And then writing about how bad Monsanto is.

Oh, I'm so glad we're good. So glad.

4:52 PM  

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