THE HARRIDANS: Yeah, we got your laser show right here.

Woahh!! The Harridans rock show!!! Let me tell you what it is and isn't!!!

It isn't this.

Jesus. Look at that idiot with the glasses. Somebody shoot me. I mean, I'm not sayin' I look all James Deanish but this fuckin' guy. You would not want this guy coverin' you with a M-1 Garand at dingbusted Anzio. Unless you think fresh urine's going to scare off th' Hun.

That's funny. I'm so hetero I can only judge a man's attractiveness by what kinda fire I could picture him laying down with a Thompson while I tried to reach that depillade for a clear shot. Ha ha. Who knows? That's probably as valid a criterion as any. I'd never rate a woman for how fast she could swap out a 20 round banana clip. You'd wind up w/ Coulter. Or that Sonya. From th' Simbionese Liberation Squid.

And The Harridans isn't this. Nope. And nothing against Michael Penn's brilliant wife. I'm glad she surfed this band to fame. Plus, you gotta love a girl group when it's done right.

Did I say that!!!

This? Hardly Harridanesque. This right here is the anti-Harridans. I would almost call these guys the Hairlessdens. These guys do have a laser show I'm SURE OF ITTTT. Look at the idiot on the left. That fucking guy is like 1,000,000 times richer than me. Whatta cocko. Right place, right time, huh? Wow, I hadn't realized how stupid these guys really look. I feel really handsome right now. I'm going to give myself...a....little...goose. Wooo-HOOOOOO. I KNEW it would be a well-muscled li'l pot roast. I KNEW it.

No, you'd have to think more in terms of THIS. That'd be more in the ball park. Or something alongside these lines. A Harridan at rest. Not that THAT happens often.

Here's something The Harridans are. And comin' from this side of it.

Tight? Tight? The Harridans are so tight they PISS MIST. Guys crap FISHING LINE, MAN. Takes HOURS. This band's so tight the crack of dawn isn't safe. This band is so tight until they're hatched. THIS BAND IS SO TIGHT SAVES NINE!!!

Did I say that!!!

So: a reminder. This place. This time. This band. Man. Took a while to type THAT url.


Blogger fgfdsg said...

I can only judge a man's attractiveness by what kinda fire I could picture him laying down with a Thompson while I tried to reach that depillade for a clear shot

Funnily enough, that's pretty much the criteria i use for men as well.

Hey, if you can get past the hair, give the 2nd and 3rd 'Til Tuesday albums a try. There's a reason why they killed their career - they sound out of place with the rest of 80's music and are much less dated than you might think because of it.

Man, you guys are going to destroy that place... wish i could come!

1:30 AM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

At least Simon is on the other side of the world. Now there is an excuse.

Me? I have my kids next weekend, and a damn wedding reception to go to. It is a 12 hour drive from Intelligence Resigned, GA., or a about $175 plane flight. Believe, me I thought about it. I was gonna talk you guys into letting me play an easy song like "Slow Down" or "Mustang Sally!"

Instead, I have to be all professional and deferential because the wedding reception is a couple from my wife's gig and the suits are going to be there in full force. I warned her that I might go as Jackson Pollock, but she reminded me we need her paycheck!

8:32 AM  
Blogger Employee of the Month said...

play Vegas.


11:34 AM  
Blogger beyond passionate said...

man, as a frustrated 50-something ex-rocker, I so wish I could see the show. Guess I'll have to wait for the DVD to come out. Meantime, I'm stuck in the middle of fuckin' Bush country here in Texas, wishing I had a piece of that Hallibertan pie & could afford to fly up there just to see the show (and maybe swing by DC in the morning to chain myself to the White House gate for a while)

11:55 AM  

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