Hello, My Name Is Bong

Hey, whattup, whattup?

Hey, my name's Bong Gonzales. I'm a salsa instructor in Montreal and Bobby has asked me to do a post here and there for him because he's been struggling with some personal demons lately and doesn't have the time or inclination right now to put a whole lot of time into saying the same things over and over again with new curse words.

Bobby got in touch with me because, well, I guess because my name is Bong. I think Bobby feels that I must be O.K. if my name is Bong, you know? He said something like, "if more people were called Bong the world would be a better polesmoking place".

bobby located me when he was doing a post about bongs and my picture came up in a Google search. He was very amused when he contacted me to learn my last name was Gonzales. "It just sounds fuckin' awesome", is I think what he said. "It sounds like you should hang with people with names like "Spliff Martinez" and "Sinsemilla Sanchez".

Whatevs, you know? I've been hearing crap like that forever as you can imagine, and every time people think they're cleverer than the last. See, where I come from in Manila, "Bong" actually means "Eustace".

Also, where I come from "Bob" means "a dude who licks monkey ass from sunup to sundown". "Bobby" is young dude who licks monkey ass from sunup to sundown.

Anyway, nice to meet you guys and I look forward to telling you some of my opinions of sweet electronics and also giving you some top ten lists. I love electronica and rave culture. Also, I'm an internet and chatroom fan and dancing is my life!

Bye, y'all!

: )


Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Dude all I can say is "fire up th' Eustace."

1:29 AM  
Blogger Neddie said...

Ferdinand Marcos' little boy was named Bong-Bong. Twice as Bong.

Around the time Marcos was deposed, I saw a video from the Marcos Family Archive that showed all the little Marcoses at a family barbecue doing a karaoke version of "We Are the World." Funniest thing I'd seen ever.

The only funnier thing would be the Bush Twins doing "Fuck Her Gently."

9:07 PM  
Blogger XTCfan said...

How 'bout "Chillum Chihuahua"? "Hookah Hernandez"? "Fattie Fandango"?

9:26 PM  
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7:45 PM  

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