Speaking Of Renal Function

The Malarians were opening for The Lyres many, many years ago at Pearl Street Basement in Northampton. Must've been '88.

Fuckin' guitarist got ripped. Ripped. Guy was more pissed than Jeff Connolly was that Halloween at TT The Bears in Cambridge when he was wearing this cat mask and actually drooling he was so fuckin' bombed.

This would have been Danny McCormack. Played a Lyre-shaped Danelectro and did the timed-to-the-drums tremolo thing that was always arresting.

Towards th' end of their set McCormack stumbles over to the side of the stage, whips out his flesh lyre and takes a piss right off the stage.

After the show the fuckhead club manager is of course livid and threatens to withhold the McCormack's pay.

Drummer Johnny Bernardo, later of The Upper Crust, steps up and offers to mop it up if he can have McCormack's pay.

And that, my friends, is just a hint of th' Glamour.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


I think there's a version of this story, or a story like this one, in one of your old posts. I swear I read it the other night. Dude pisses off stage, drummer offers to mop it up for his pay. I swear.

But then, I usually read th' blogs at 2 AM when all higher brain functions have ceased, so I could be full a' shit.

12:46 AM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

You're probably right- I've probably told it before. I was wondering.

Well, at least that confirms it's veracity, n'est pas?

I'm starting to repeat m'self.

5:14 AM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

Saw the Upper Crust open for Tenacious D coupla years ago. A good time had by all. (It helps everybody when the guys on stage are actually having fun too.)

8:28 AM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...


11:45 AM  
Blogger Neddie said...

Me and Mom were there that night. Seriously. I wondered how the fuck he planned to play the guitar in that condition. Scared the bejessu out of Mom, o' course. Can't remember why we didn't witness the magnificence of the Lyres -- maybe it was 'cos it was 2 AM and we had to drive all the way back to Northampton.

That tremelo-driving-the-tempo thing was magnificent, wasn't it... It's featured front and center on the Lyrse track on the "Children of Nuggets' Rhino collection, on "Help You Ann."

5:10 PM  

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