Bobby Lightfoot's Blog Entries I'd Write If My Mom Didn't Read This Number One

AAAAAAAAAHHH HA HA HA HA! That's the funniest thing I've thought of all month.

Sorry, Mom, you have to admit this is funny. And no, that's not a picture of my Mom. My Mom doesn't have "Stock Photo" tattooed on her face. Although she has intimated darkly about getting "Cradle Of Filth" on her upper arm. And she'd never wear a purple pillbox hat. Or any pillbox hat.

So, Anyway- Bobby Lightfoot's Blog Entries I'd Write If My Mom Didn't Read This Number One:

1. The Lightfoot Illicit Substance Guide

2. My Year In The Sex Trade Was Tough

3. I Think I Hit A Drifter With My Van In Montana One Night But I Kept Driving

4. At Least Hitler Made The Trains Run On Time

5. That Time I Lived On Grits For Two Weeks Rocked

6. I Was Fired From My First Job Because Of Wine

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That one was funny- "Because Of Wine". This is even better than I thought it would be. I just cracked myself up for the first time in a week. Blork. Hee hee hee.

7. There's Money In Smuggling!

Wow, that one was l-a-m-e lame.

8. My Hot Cousins

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That one's funny.

9. I Never Thought Identity Theft Would Be So Easy

and and and and errrrrrrrrrrrrr..........................

10. Coming To Terms With My "Bi" Years

GGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! that one was so funny i hit myself with a coffee cup over the head hard. I put my foot through the wall. My socks rolled up and down. The Aqua Velva curdled and steamed on my face. You must never speak with the demon or answer the demon's riddles. It only serves to make him stronger.
Wait- that should be simpler though. It should just be:

10. My Bi Years


ggggggggggggggggggggggggggGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOORTttttttTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSHHHHHHHHLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!

Hi, Ma! Just hit the little envelope icon to give me my comeuppance.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZOoooooooooooooooooooooooomMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm

oh, that looks cool. Look how it seems to undulate--- zzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooommmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmm



Here's how cool this interweb thing is- If I want to have an immense black space under here I can just do that-



Never mind it didn't fucking work.