The Best Of Both Worlds

I like how B. Neddie Jingo is all sane and measured and I'm all out of my mind shitting invective and gasping with the appallingness of it all. That fuckin' rocks. Classic Little Brother Syndrome.

Gotta say though, folks, lest anyone is fooled by the urbaneness of his prose, that I've seen the guy take off his shoe and fix to clobber a guy who went for my sister in a bar in Bad Godesberg. We're talking NO hesitation. And to use the shoe is so "this isn't going to be some squareoff. This is the most efficient means available to fuck you up in 3 seconds."

Fuckin' Neddie. Can you imagine? Fucking with Neddie? Uh, I don't think so. I'd call that not a career plan. Unless, of course you're looking to break into the shoe eating racket.

Shoe eating. It's one thing to be able to take a punch, you know? Taking a shoe is tougher.

Ma told me he had a blog so I went and read it all and it was great and then I started pushing the buttons. I lurked as a Russian internet bride for a while. I useta post to Chalkhills a few years ago but I'm kind of an asshole and I John Lennoned somebody and felt badly. Lennonesque is great for music; Jingoesque is how one wants to be described in ones dealings with the folks.

Lightfootesque? Lightfootesque is when you've chased a headline and a chart placing for so long that YOU JUST CAN'T SORT OF JUST SHUT UP SORT OF. Lighfootesque is great in small doses but gets a little much over the breakfast table. Lightfootesque is you introduce me to your friends but you time it so you guys split after like five minutes in stitches. But you definitely know the right time alottment, the precise moment when it stops getting funny and starts getting Xanaxy. And vein-pulsing-on-the-brow-like. Definitely someone who is in the more-rockin'- less-talkin' category.

The music's getting quieter, though. I've been writing at the piano instead of the guitar for a couple of years and I got a Rhodes electric piano last winter and it's turning me into quite the impressionist. That and the digital recording thing where you can stack your voice 16 times and make those late Steely Dan harmonies sound like aboriginal grunting. Anybody who reads this crap would laugh if they heard my music. I'd call it aspiring-to-Brian-Wilsonesque but, like, if Brian's Sepultura then I'm Burt Bacharach. A few less hair circles than the Beach Boys used to do.

That's not what I take to the people, though. These days it's all the good irresistible shit from '55 to 62. And Stax. Songs have become like tools for me. I like them based on their usefulness, their balance in my hand, the way people respond to them, and it's the best lesson a songwriter could learn. I mean, on this basis alone you could pretty much just stick with Chuck Berry and do fine.

asdf is when i put the picture up but i don't feel like writing it about it right then. asdfasdfasdfasdf