Coca Cola Kills

Did you know that Coca Cola kills? No, I don't mean their wonderful, delicious product. The drink itself is manna. Everybody fucking knows that.

No, I'm talking about the company. They kill. They actually kill people. It's like a company tradition. The Coca Cola brass picks their best workers and salespeople and takes them to the Kalahari a couple times each year. Then they get their heads all bad on all manner of dopes and they kill bushmen. With shotguns and assault rifles. It's like the Coke reward program. It's true.

Also- teeth rot Coca Cola. If you put a tooth in a glass of Coke and put it in the window and come back a couple of days later, there's less delicious Coke. And it tastes bad.

It's the real thing.

SMIRNOFF

COCA COLA

HEWLETT PACKARD