Santa Claus: A Study In Evil
Ha! Santa. What a fucking dope.
All the fucking cash in the universe and he gives people toaster ovens and bad cologne ONCE A gOD DAMN year. What an absolute, unmitigated foreskin this chiseling old fuck is. What a effing rotter.
ADDED to this fact, there is solid data to suggest that Santa RIPS PEOPLE OFF FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS A YEAR!
ESPECIALLY THE STARVING CHILDREN!! WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!! He sweeps through Ethiopia like an ill wind, grabbing crusts from dying little mouths. Who fucking does that? Yeah, that's right- a BIG, BIG ASSHOLE does that. BIG asshole.
Fucking SANTA. He's got you ALL SNOWED. Got himself all snowed too, from the nostrils on in if you get my "drift". Come November this fucking evil nutjob is like a one-man Colombian export boom if you get my "drift". And Santa is actually badly bipolar too, no pun intended, and the cocaine turns him into this chittering, sneezing, bugeyed elffucker. Those little fuckers SCATTER when they get wind that Massuh is into some booger sugar.
Thats Christmas you hardly got anything? Santa put it all up his nose. That was 1977. Fuckin' remember it like it was yesterday. I got, like, a used "Mouse Trap" game and a soggy cardboard coaster with a whore named Rita's phone number in Poughkeepsie on it. What did you get?
This guy makes Dick Cheney look like the fucking tooth fairy, who also happens to be an absolute UNMITIGATED TWAT.
BUT THAT'S ANOTHER FUCKING POST ISNT' IT, THEN??? HUH? hUHA//A;Y45YLI;H
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I guess I'm getting back to my normal self.
Credits for this post: Hank was here laying guitar tracks and he came up with the ripping people off thing which fucking smokes and I riffed into the toothfairy bit.
When I decided to do this post I wondered for a second if I wouldn't have a hard time finding bad things to say about that fucker Santa.
Then I laughed and got on with it.
So, I'd like to thank everyone who chipped in getting this thing together. All the people who don't get the glory, y'know? And Hal in accounting. That fucking Hal! Mr. Lampshade! Woo Hoo! Mr. Head-Of-The-Christmas-Party-Conga-Line-Year-After-Fucking-Year!! And my mentor John Thuleen who really is like a dad to me. Really. Like a pap. And Sherry and Marge and Hector in Human Resources! Where would I have gotten all the human body parts wiohout Human Resources???? You tell me!
Oh, Rita? Check it out- I called the number and it turns out Santa fucking KILLED HER AND RENDERED HER and ATE HER FUCKING BRAIN!!!!!!!! WHAT A BASTARD THAT FUCKING SANTA IS. And the god damned tooth fairy molested her corpse and took the teeth out.
Actually I took the teeth out and that nancying little fucker owes me $2.75.
Fucking cock.
posted by Bobby Lightfoot at 21:53
5 Comments:
Hello
I am bipolar, somewhere between Santa Claus and a rockhead like you. Your vocabularly consists of about five f words. If the world is lucky Santa brought you soap for Christmas. Oh when was the last time you sent a care package to Ethiopa. As a bipolar person I must be on your hit list, something wrong with me. Right now I am feeling pretty manic and would love to meet you and talk about dignity, respect, fellowship. Yes Santa Claus is not real. The real crime is you are for real and absolutely no credit to the world. Thank the creator (of course you dont believe in that either otherwise there would be peace on earth) for wonderful people like you because it teaches me the "f" word over and over again. I forgive you for your shortcomings and hope that one day when we meet somehow between the two of us we can make the world just a little better for somebody around us.
When you grow up and look back at all the contributions you made to the world what will they add up to, what will you add up to....
I hope it is much more than Santa Claus and the F word.
Love to you. Do something nice for somebody and maybe they will read your block or most likely nobody has and I just happened to come by.
BIPOLARIS --- The Northern Star
Shut up and take your fucking pills.
We can all Google our fucking malady and find people to curse at. Shut the fuck up.
And if you're going to insult someone's vocabulary don't call it a "vocabularly", you fucking idiot.
Your problem isn't your mental health. It's that you're a fuckin' asshole and they don't have pills for that yet. Actually, they sort of do...
I am so sorry, your are right, I should not have used the tern vocabularly, I should have used the term "abcdeffffffffffu..." but I figured it would take you a month to figure out. You are right though "I was googling fucking idiot" and your name was the first to come out lightfoot or heavydick but I focused on lightfoot because there wasn't anything heavy about your dick so it wasn't you penisbrain, I am sorry I meant peabrain
BIPOLARIS --- The Sun is Setting on You Darkhand
stop, you're scaring me.
I promise I'll never write anything bad again. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
just don't come back. Fucking psycho.
Please don't kill me with a fork in 1972.
Bobby
We both had our fun
You are okay with me
Good luck to you and your blog
I know you have causes you believe in and I am sure in your mind they are righteous so keep fighting the fight.
I called you some bad names which I regret. Sometimes mania brings out the worst in a person. I am not a F. psycho, I care about the world maybe as much as you do. I just go about it in a different way.
Maybe one day we will meet and maybe even shake hands. This will be my last post so you can and will have the final say...it is your blog and you rule. I wish you well...take care
BIPOLARIS...May the morning star shine upon your shadow and bring light to your world
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