5/28/2005

My Cock Hurts




Why does that dog have to all the time jump on my cock? And my balls. He alternates. One jump: cock. Next jump: right ball. Cock. left ball. It's not Sal the Feist. She's a face leaper. She jumps upon your face, perchance to leave a faint brown star upon your forehead and thus claim you for the Order Of The Brown Star. Sal the Feist cannot reach the Nexus of Pain. The large fellow? He is my cock's nemesis.

Does your cock have a nemesis? Or your balls? I curse the day they descended. Must've been 3, 4 years by now.

The whole assemblage is right problematic. The whole stupid tackle. I suspect it of being vestigial, an ugly chicken neck of an appendix that hasn't the brains to attach itself to something on the inside and eschew extinction at the business end of a golden retriever. A frustrating affair, all told. A source of much garment-rending and tearing of hair. And I don't mean like in "9 1/2 Weeks". Quite the contrary. Quite the contrary.

Perhaps the thing is like a literary device; something to stir up the plot a little. A penis ex machina, if you will. The puns involving climax and denouement I will leave to the smaller minds.



I really like the deal about Medicaid paying for Viagra for child molesters. That's awesome. And then the thing I heard yesterday about there being evidence that Viagra and Cialis cause blindness. Speaking of blind, are we so lost that the teachings of our elders no longer resonate? No longer carry weight or, dare I say,gravitas? Are we so foolish that we cannot realize that it is not the pills that cause blindness but the subsequent self abuse? Everybody fucking knows that. COME ON.

Never mind. Next time the dog whacks my bag so's that it sways from side to side like the Bells Of Rhimney I'll fucking keep it to myselves.

12 Comments:

Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

You're hot. Let's meet.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Yeeeah, baby. I little roleplaying, maybe?

10:32 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Whatever you say, big boy.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

How about my bathroom, tomorrow morning?

10:33 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

I'll be there, han-sum.

10:33 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

I'll bring the mimosas.

10:35 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Sweet. I'll bring a hardcover of "Portnoy's Complaint", "big boy."

10:36 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Actually, I remembered I can't tomorrow.

10:36 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

That's O.K., I was lying anyway.

You're ugly.

10:37 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Wait- now i'm intrigued.

10:39 PM  
Anonymous Mark said...

I was a dog in a previous life....
how 'bout a quick round with the "heavy bags"..

12:30 PM  
Anonymous amy said...

hot..hot...hott

relax cure play

8:30 PM  

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