I Say To You That Tomorrow Is The Motherfucking Day.

Yeah, man. Tomorrow- that's July 18, 2005. What are you gonna do with it, people?

Are you gonna walk right back into the welcoming arms of The Man for yer handful of dimes so you can watch Magnificent Housewifes in 3 foot Living Surround? Oh, goodness gracious me. It's ours to call, fuckers. Ours to call.

What's Bono gonna do when he wakes up in the morning on the god damn July 18 2005, sister- he's going to shave, he's going to eke one out, he's gonna have some nice caffee and THEN HE'S GOING TO UNLEASH UNHOLY HELL ON THE POWERS THAT OPPRESS YOU AND ME, FUCKERS.

HE'S GONNA COME OUT WITH HIS FISTS SWINGING AND HIS STRONG SIDE FORWARD IS WHAT BOONO'S GONNA DOO.

Bono is going to OPEN HIS EYES when that alarm goes off and he's going to gently disentangle himself from Yoko's sleepy embrace. And he's going to move on from that moment forward with HIS EYES WIDE OPEN. WIDE OPEN TO THE POVERTY IN MONTANA. WIDE OPEN TO THE VAGARIES OF THE NATION STATE. WIDE GOD DAMN FUCKING OPEN TO THE STRIFE AND THE STRESS AND WHAT THE LITTLE MAN DOES TO EARN A CRUST FOR HIS AND HERS.

Bono is going to climb into the cramped cockpit of the Asskick 458Z, with Edge next to him and Adam Molino Jr. on the tailgun and together they will fly across the sky making mincemeat of the derigibles of Injustice and Oppression that stymie their ever-forward progress into the days of the Good and the True. And it's ALL of our progress, man. It's not just Bono, Ono and Mulano. It's you and it's me, man. It's the guy in the street who's just lookin' around, his eyes open for the first time after like a Live 8 concert with like Simple Minds telling it like it is.

That's right, people. I say to you that tomorrow is the motherfucking day. The day to make a difference. The day to take a chance. Because together we can get lawn ornaments at Walmart. And with our Walmart lawn ornaments we can LOAD THE CANNONS OF TRUTH AND BLAST THE EVILDOER AND THE CONNIVER AND THE WHISPERER OF NOTHINGS WHENCE HE CAME. MONSANTO.

Anybody'll tell you that I'm a peaceloving guy. I go with the flow, man. I do unto as I'd have done, you know? Somebody lends me their Night Ranger I lend 'em my Survivor. But I've recently come awake to the realization that people are suffering and I can't just lie around in this filthy bathrobe doing piles of coke and practicing dilrouba.

I've got to get off my ass and I think tomorrow might just be Ground Zero for this shit. Are you with me on this? Oh, fuckin' man alive, this shit has got to go down the way we've talked and talked and talked about it.

Maybe I'll just start by putting out a little fire, you know? Maybe I'll just rabbit-punch a recruiter or burn an SUV. Oh, hell. Maybe I'll just buy local produce. I don't know. How the fucking christ would I know? I play 'em where they fall. I rise late and keep a stiff upper Isle of Langerhans. You with me on this?

Saran wrap the toilets in the executive crapper, man. Make a pass at your boss and when they respond scream unholy murder. Drive into a police car and then act like no English. Before long you're going to live in a world where driving into a police car is gonna be a big legal problem and you'll get all your rights revoxed. And then where will you be? Not even

BONO WILL BE ABLE TO SAVE YOUR SCRAWNY ASS THEN. NOT EVEN BONO, DUDE.

You'll be all "I should have kicked that politician in the cock before I got my unconscionable right to do so REVOKED LIKE A GOD DAMN GULAGER".

Let's do this thing. Let's all man the christ up and do this. Because you can only have like so many Live 8's because they're expensive. If we could have like, a Live 8 every weekend we could probably solve all the world's problems in like a couple of years. But we can't so it's up to you and me, brothers and sisters. It's up to you and me to GET IN THERE AND GIVE AS GOOD AS WE'RE GETTING. BANG. CRASH.

Freedom isn't free. Piss on a tree, man. Go to your local town hall and demand that they legalize abortion. Because there was a time when that was a man's god given god damn fucking right before the lunatics took over the asylum. Before the green states yielded a shrubbery. Before all this apocalipstick shit went over.

It's like living in a god damn capitalist state, is what it is. Man can't get a decent wage. It's the same old story. I mean, what kind of god damn country is it where a man has to sing in clubs three nights a week just to eke out some kind of a living? All that god damn applause and liquor.

We could do this, man. We could turn this shit on it's head if we all move together. In synchrony. As One. As ONE WITH BONO.

Because I Say To You That Tomorrow is the Motherfucking Day.