Bobby Lightfoot's God Damn Advice For Modern Lovers: When Not To Hypenate

That big day coming up? Boy howdy! I know you womenfolk like to hyphenate those last names but I hate to tell you there are some times when it ain't a god damn good career plan! Thank heavens you have MY sensitive and new age ass to set you straight.

Here's some examples when you don't want to hyphenate yer last god damn name with hubby's:

If your name is Janet Dingle and his name is Bill Berry.

If your name is Helga Koch and his name is Wilhelm Sucher.

If your name is Suzy Seaman and his his name is Jack Luvver.

Todd came up with that one. Good on yer, mate. That right there is some golden fucking wit.

If your name is Jackie Pew and his name is Frank Denda. Ha ha.

Don't marry Yo Yo Ma if your name is Cynthia Smeg.

Like, say, if your name is Tami Gofuckyourself and his name is Joe Pieceoffuckingshit. That'd be a bad move, huh?

Next time: something even stupider!