Glossary Of Malarian Terms.

Yay! The fucking Malarians! My first big-boy band. We're talking 1985-1989. Rockpool Top 40 1988 with the Sean Slade-produced "Know" EP. Rhino distribution.

Actually, who gives a flying fuck about our CV? This band was about having fun. Well, aside from the heroin and fist fights and suicide.

So, The Malarians amassed an amazing amount of native terms in our years together. It's what happens when you mix long drives, long nights and short attention spans. I've wanted to do a glossary but it's a monumental task and would be funny to about six people. I'm just going to dip my toe in here and see how it feels, a-ight? I certainly hope that if Mal Thursday drops back in, or Johnny Tomorrow or Lyme Ricky for the matter, they will add to this rich and evocative esperanto.

The hod-carriers of the band often brought gauche words or phrases from the construction site and these were easily altered and incorporated into the vernacular. I think it is this unique marriage of construction worker filth and drug-addled rock 'n' rollspeak that added up to the Malarian Patoise. One can also easily glean the main inspirations of our young lives by seeing how many words we conjured to identify what were to us the most important things.

Much of our journey involved Boston and Portland and the Northeast and the accent must be rendered thus, in the most working-class Lowell or Worcester accent.

Soice- A variation of "choice", as in "good" or "excellent".

'Cidle- (pronounced SIGH-dle)- pot. Derivation: "herb" to "herbicide" to "herbicidal" to "'cidle".

Soice 'cidle- pot of a particularly high quality.

Yoice- a popular variation of soice.

Tettins- Breasts. (pronounced TE'-ins. Note glottal stop on double "t".) Derivation: "tits" to "tittens" to "tettins".

Soice Tettins- breasts of particularly high quality.

Der Bingle- a bong.

Rock Stick- singular for the legions of skinny girls that hang out in rock clubs.

sack- a bag of pot.

Soice sack of 'cidle- a bag of pot of particularly high quality.

Yunt- yes.

Moist- a popular variation of Yoice.

Moist Rock Stick- a particularly cute skinny girl that hangs out in rock clubs.

Losh- to make love. Derivation unknown.

Yoking- making love. Derivation unknown.

satchel- a bag of pot.

Motrin- pot.

Yoice satchel of Motrin- a bag of pot of particularly high quality.

The Heat- a board mix cassette of the evening's show.

Spent- bad. Finished. Derivation: common English term.

Spunt- the bass player for The Malarians, Slater Awn. Derivation: Christian name "Kent" became "Spent" (see above) when he went on th' Spike. Changed to "Spunt" out of sheer glottal pleasure and negative connotations.

Spunt Hunt- a ritual of every concert, wherein it fell to predetermined band members to assess the whereabouts (alleyway, crack house, jail cell, gutter) of Spunt (see above) and assure his attendance.

Soice Spunt Hunt- a hunt that takes less than an hour.

Spent Spunt Hunt- a hunt that takes 3-5 hours and involves either guns, police, or shots of adrenaline to the heart.

Froist- a popular variation of Choice. Derivation: "Choice" to "Soice" to "Yoice" to "Moist" to "Froist".

Frontal- breasts.

Froist Frontal- breasts of particularly high quality.

Stoking- smoking pot.

Stoking Der Bingle- smoking pot out of a bong.

Stoking a soice satchel of 'cidle in Der Bingle with a Froist Frontal Rock Stick and yoking yoicely to The Heat- smoking pot of high quality in a bong with a skinny girl with attractive breasts and making love pleasantly. While listening to a recording of the evening's show.

Next: 40 other terms.