Glossary Of Malarian Terms.

Yay! The fucking Malarians! My first big-boy band. We're talking 1985-1989. Rockpool Top 40 1988 with the Sean Slade-produced "Know" EP. Rhino distribution.

Actually, who gives a flying fuck about our CV? This band was about having fun. Well, aside from the heroin and fist fights and suicide.

So, The Malarians amassed an amazing amount of native terms in our years together. It's what happens when you mix long drives, long nights and short attention spans. I've wanted to do a glossary but it's a monumental task and would be funny to about six people. I'm just going to dip my toe in here and see how it feels, a-ight? I certainly hope that if Mal Thursday drops back in, or Johnny Tomorrow or Lyme Ricky for the matter, they will add to this rich and evocative esperanto.

The hod-carriers of the band often brought gauche words or phrases from the construction site and these were easily altered and incorporated into the vernacular. I think it is this unique marriage of construction worker filth and drug-addled rock 'n' rollspeak that added up to the Malarian Patoise. One can also easily glean the main inspirations of our young lives by seeing how many words we conjured to identify what were to us the most important things.

Much of our journey involved Boston and Portland and the Northeast and the accent must be rendered thus, in the most working-class Lowell or Worcester accent.

Soice- A variation of "choice", as in "good" or "excellent".

'Cidle- (pronounced SIGH-dle)- pot. Derivation: "herb" to "herbicide" to "herbicidal" to "'cidle".

Soice 'cidle-
pot of a particularly high quality.

Yoice- a popular variation of soice.

Tettins- Breasts. (pronounced TE'-ins. Note glottal stop on double "t".) Derivation: "tits" to "tittens" to "tettins".

Soice Tettins-
breasts of particularly high quality.

Der Bingle- a bong.

Rock Stick- singular for the legions of skinny girls that hang out in rock clubs.

sack- a bag of pot.

Soice sack of 'cidle- a bag of pot of particularly high quality.

Yunt- yes.

Moist- a popular variation of Yoice.

Moist Rock Stick-
a particularly cute skinny girl that hangs out in rock clubs.

Losh- to make love. Derivation unknown.

Yoking- making love. Derivation unknown.

satchel- a bag of pot.

Motrin- pot.

Yoice satchel of Motrin- a bag of pot of particularly high quality.

The Heat- a board mix cassette of the evening's show.

Spent- bad. Finished. Derivation: common English term.

the bass player for The Malarians, Slater Awn. Derivation: Christian name "Kent" became "Spent" (see above) when he went on th' Spike. Changed to "Spunt" out of sheer glottal pleasure and negative connotations.

Spunt Hunt-
a ritual of every concert, wherein it fell to predetermined band members to assess the whereabouts (alleyway, crack house, jail cell, gutter) of Spunt (see above) and assure his attendance.

Soice Spunt Hunt- a hunt that takes less than an hour.

Spent Spunt Hunt- a hunt that takes 3-5 hours and involves either guns, police, or shots of adrenaline to the heart.

Froist- a popular variation of Choice. Derivation: "Choice" to "Soice" to "Yoice" to "Moist" to "Froist".


Froist Frontal- breasts of particularly high quality.

Stoking- smoking pot.

Stoking Der Bingle- smoking pot out of a bong.

Stoking a soice satchel of 'cidle in Der Bingle with a Froist Frontal Rock Stick and yoking yoicely to The Heat- smoking pot of high quality in a bong with a skinny girl with attractive breasts and making love pleasantly. While listening to a recording of the evening's show.

Next: 40 other terms.


Blogger fgfdsg said...

As someone who loves making up words and playing with language, I'm competely obssessed with the urban dictionary website. Where else can you get definitions as good as this:


When a girl is going down on you, and just before you climax you pull out of her mouth and nut in your own hand. Then fling the jism in her face, as you jump to your feet, making sure to properly mimic Spidey's web slinging hand motions. Now stand in a position of bravery, and power like any superhero would. Be sure not to react when she yells at you. Stand tall and proud, not too many guys get the chance to do that these days.

Just keep hitting random for a few hours and watch your vocabulary expand ten fold.


12:03 AM  
Blogger fgfdsg said...

Sorry, but I couldn't pass this one up:

Baby Daddy

Usually a broke ass black man; Who you met through a friend and had sex wit when you was upset and confused. Now you don had his baby and he dont pay child support and denies yo son ray ray.

12:05 AM  
Blogger teh l4m3 said...

Fairyerre. Need I define?

bwkes: What I am doing after I chase a hangover with a swig of straight vodka.

12:57 AM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

Hey, Bobby, I guess I'm one of those six people. When is the rest of the world going to catch up?

kkrzx - What? That noise bothers you? Sorry, but I enjoy cracking my knuckles.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am seriously in love with the word "Froist".

yodghi - the Abominable Snowman's picnic-basket-stealing cousin

12:08 PM  
Anonymous el brentmeister generale said...


sowbwtz - there's no bizness like having your teeth knocked down your throat

2:39 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zvoomm- exiting the birth canal with great speed. HA HA HA HA.

10:26 PM  

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