1/01/2006

Some New Year's Fucking Resolutions Yo.


1. Stop asking beggars how much debt they're in and when they give me a blank look tell them to give ME some fucking cash because they're actually god damn richer than me.

2. Stop saying "thank you" by pure blind habit when some piggo drops me a speedin' ticket. That shit keeps me up god damn nights.

3. When some band opens for me and th' bass player comes out into the crowd because he's wireless and actually thinks it's cool, I'm going to try and break the habit of reaching over and cranking their tuning pegs. That makes me no friends, as funny as it may be.

4. Get myself a bitchin' wireless for my bass.

5. When I simply can't avoid going to Guitar Center, I'm going to stop picking up a mic stand and telling the sales guy it's going through the display case if he says, "how much do you WANT to pay?" when I ask how much something is.

6. When I stay at a motel on th' road I'm going to stop mimicking the maid when she knocks on the door and says, "housekeeping!" Also no more spread-eagling naked on the bed and not answering. As oddly stirring as it is.

7. No more slipping into Hitler-ese during "Girl From Ipanema".

8. Stop firing bandmates when they have gear of mine. It's expensive.

9. When Christers with literature stop me on the street and ask me if I've "heard the voice of God" I'm going to stop saying yes but that I'm too old for LSD and "Houses Of The Holy" at 78 RPM.

10. When I have to cancel a gig, no more calling the club and acting like I'm in jail.

4 Comments:

Blogger beyond passionate said...

Hey man, I'm waiting to hear about your New Year's gig. How'd it go?

1:06 AM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

No more slipping into Hitler-ese during "Girl From Ipanema".

You'll blow that one the first time you play it!

9:38 AM  
Blogger Employee of the Month said...

New in '06:

I resolve to help myself to the contents of any and all tip jars I encounter during my day.



lqgavud - not to be sold to those under the age of 21

2:53 PM  
Blogger teh l4m3 said...

"No more slipping into Hitler-ese during 'Girl From Ipanema'."

Holy shit! I thought I was the only one in the world who did that...

"Töll und tahn und yüng und lahvlie/Ze guhrl frahm Ipanema gohss valking/und vehn she pahsses/each vahn she pahsses/gohss 'AH!'"

Altho' mine comes out more Arnie...

3:10 PM  

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