6/06/2006

Excuses, Excuses.


Yeah, big absence here. Who fuckin' cares? I've been either tired, busy, high or all three. Mea maxima. I'm going to sleep like th' fucking dead tonight so if I don't get around to saying some shit nobody gives a fuck about let me just summarize my position on today's hot topics:

Issue: Haditha

Commentary:Boy is that some shocking crap right there. Hoo boy. See, usually war is so nice and civil and Iraq so far has been a textbook case of not fucking up civilians. That's what makes this all th' more tragic. Yeah, I'm so shocked and dismayed. That shit wasn't like a First Person Shooter atall. You wouldn't think this sort of thing would happen when you take 18-year olds and teach them to kill people and blow shit up and then give 'em multiple tours of duty and deal with their fatigue by pillin' 'em more full of speed than a fucking long haul trucker.

The solution I propose: Hang Rumsfeld by his fucking scrote. Ditto everyone in th' gov't above the position of fluffer. Fuck 'em all.

Also all CEO's. They're SO in on this shit. Especially that craphandler over at Exxon. Let's pour acid up his ass and see if it makes it all th' way through. He's pretty much personally responsible for all he tragedy in the fucking world. Lee Raymond. Feckless cunt.

Issue: Th' latest round of vote-wranglin' with gay marriage and that.

Commentary: Yeah, this isn't transparent of Bush at all. No sir. It's like th' brilliant glory days of Rove strategizing are back all over again. See, I don't hate stupid right wing cunts because they're stupid right wing cunts. I hate them because they fall for this shit over and over and over and make my country suck because of it.

And because they're stupid right wing cunts.

Th' solution that I propose: Let's get th' homophobes to confront their latent fear of gayness once and for all. At th' business end of drifter schlong. Drifter schlong. Think of the jobs it'll create. And ultimately, with solid aversion therapy, I suspect we'll observe conditions that don't ultimately indicate aversion at all. Quite the contrary, citizens.

Drifter Schlong. Saw 'em on the '98 tour. Good concerts that year. I think that was th' year I saw Hole opening for Tool.

Issue: Billy Preston dying.

Commentary: This is fucked. Guy was like 59. Too bad he didn't have th' voodoo shit working for him like that fat ass shit head child skull fucking waste of skin scumbag fuck Cheney. Jesus, Cheney couldn't play a fucking rolling third on a Rhodes if you dangled fresh infant flesh in front of him. I hate him so much it makes my fucking dick shrivel. Even more.

Th' Solution That I Propose: When the arc of universe swings towards injustice, well, I just don't know what to tell you. I'll be toasting Billy often and well from th' Soulfinger stage. We do some of his shit.

Look, I try to stay away from my blog when all I want to do is spew hatred and rage. Obviously I've failed this time. Maybe I'll fucking try again tomorrow. Maybe fucking not. Oh, the fucking confusion. The trying to do the right thing and feeling like a fucking chump. You guys get rewarded for playin' ball honestly? I gotta say, sometimes I feel like I'm Bill Frist's asshole and the universe is Cheney's dingler. Fucking Christ.

11 Comments:

Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

Yes. Billy Preston. More bad news, but at least a reminder of the stuff human beings can do that doesn't end up killing people.

Some day, all those assholes you mentioned will be dead too. Unless they've also rigged that game.

5:51 PM  
Blogger fgfdsg said...

More and more I've convinced by the lack of any kind of apparant karma that we actually already are in Hell. Thank fuck we have music for our glimpse of Heaven.

6:20 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Ooh, well put, Simon! See, I was mad at myself because between Haditha, the threat of enshrining homophobia in the Constitution, and Billy Preston dying, it's the last one that has me the most upset, but after reading what Simon wrote I'm thinking my priorities aren't entirely insane. Or heartless.

7:06 PM  
Blogger teh l4m3 said...

Keith Richards really needs to fall out of trees more often...

7:38 PM  
Blogger Employee of the Month said...

I've got a song, I ain't got no melody
I'ma gonna sing it to my friends
I've got a song, I ain't got no melody
I' ma gonna sing it to my friends

Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky
Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky

I've got a story, ain't got no moral
Let the bad guy win every once in a while
I've got a story, ain't got no moral
Let the bad guy win every once in a while

Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky
Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky

I've got a dance, I ain't got no steps, no
I'm gonna let the music move me around
I've got a dance, I ain't got no steps
I'm gonna let the music move me around

Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky
Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky

Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky
Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky

I've got a song, I ain't got no melody
I'ma gonna sing it to my friends
I've got a song, I ain't got no melody
I' ma gonna sing it to my friends

Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky
Will it go round in circles
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky

9:58 PM  
Blogger Employee of the Month said...

Even Better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VizaIB-Wwx0

I'm fucking gutted.

10:03 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Wow, that shreds. Fuckin' gap-toothed motherfucker.

Everyone go check it out now.

These people are all leaving us.

10:10 PM  
Blogger Chuck Champion said...

Well, we can always un-DO their asshat mangling of the Constitution (and this is said as a gay man!) -- and while we can't undo Haditha, we can atone for it at the v'ry least by votin' the Bastards out so v'ry far out they nev'r get office again -- but we can't bring Billy Preston back.

All we can do is make music: make it louder, bastids, I need to hear music. That's the way God planned it.

12:01 AM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

Look, I try to stay away from my blog when all I want to do is spew hatred and rage. Obviously I've failed this time.

Well if it is any consolation, (or as my ex-boss Tony D used to say, "if it's any compensation," your continued inability to succeed in that goal inspires me.

I think I'm gonna do my own version of the Koufax's with my own categories and let people vote, except I have n votes...

8:51 AM  
Blogger Employee of the Month said...

Cool, suck em if you got em...

Gay-marriage amendment fails By Andy Sullivan
1 hour, 17 minutes ago



WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A constitutional ban on same-sex marriage failed to pass the Senate on Wednesday but Republican leaders planned to take it up in the House, keeping a national spotlight on the divisive issue.

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The 49 to 48 vote basically ensures the measure won't get anywhere in the full Congress, thwarting President Bush and the mostly Republican senators who argued that the Constitution must be amended to prevent judges from striking down existing state bans on gay marriage.

Democrats said the gay-marriage vote, which fell short of the 60 votes needed to end debate, was an attempt to muster conservative support before November congressional elections and divert public attention from more pressing issues like the war in Iraq that reflect poorly on Republicans.

"It is a cynical attempt to score political points by overriding state courts and intruding into individuals' private lives," Democratic Sen. Edward Kennedy (news, bio, voting record) of Massachusetts said in floor debate on Tuesday.

Republican leaders say the U.S. House of Representatives will take up the marriage amendment in July even though they do not expect it to get the two-thirds majority that a constitutional amendment requires for passage.

"This is a big issue for lots of our members and frankly for lots of Americans," House Republican Leader John Boehner of Ohio told reporters on Tuesday.

Constitutional amendments need to pass by two-thirds vote in both houses of Congress so the House vote will be mostly symbolic.

Forty-five states have passed laws or amended their constitutions to prohibit same-sex marriage, and the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act allows states to refuse to recognize marriages performed elsewhere.

Several of those bans have been struck down by state judges and court challenges are pending in nine states.

The bill's sponsor, Republican Sen. Wayne Allard (news, bio, voting record) of Colorado, said judges would override what is in many states overwhelming public sentiment against gay marriage if the Senate did not act.

"If we fail to define marriage, the courts will not hesitate to do it for us," Allard said on the Senate floor.

Since 2004, about 8,000 gay couples have married in Massachusetts, the only state to fully recognize same-sex marriages. Six other states and the District of Columbia offer same-sex couples some legal protections. (Additional reporting by Joanne Kenen)

12:42 PM  
Blogger roxtar said...

" Good concerts that year. I think that was th' year I saw Hole opening for Tool."

I saw that tour. Got a t-shirt. Crotchless.

3:18 PM  

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