7/26/2006

Just A Couple O' Points.

1. DON'T DRIVE AN AUDI. YOU'LL TURN INTO A ASSHOLE. EVERY TIME I SEE A FUCKING AUDI I JUST PULL THE FUCK OVER. IT AIN'T WORTH IT, SAILOR. JESUS CHRIST W/ THE FUCKING AUDIS. IT'S ALWAYS THESE RICH OLD FUCKING DIVIDEND COLLECTORS THAT NEED TO BE INTRODUCED TO THE FUCKING GUILLOTINE. LIKE IN TH' ENLIGHTENMENT. THEY CALLED IT THAT FOR A FUCKING REASON.

2. TWO COMMENTS ON MY LAST POST? HUH? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???? HUH? I GUESS YOU SEE THAT SORT OF BITTERSWEET HONESTY EVERY FUCKING DAY, HUH? "OH, IT'S JUST MORE BITTERSWEET BEAUTIFUL HONESTY. IT'S JUST SOME POOR FUCK CONFRONTING MIDLIFE WITH TEAR-INDUCING PATHOS. FUCK IT- I WANT TO READ SOMEONE'S TOP TEN LIST OF FAVORITE CELEBRITY GENITAL PIERCINGS".

THERE WILL BE TEN COMMENTS TO THAT POST TOMORROW AT NOON WHEN I GET UP OR I WILL PULL THIS FUCKING BLOG OFF THE FUCKING WEB. I DON'T FUCKING NEED IT. WHAT, YOU WANT MY FAVE IPOD DESIGN? MY FAVE DAVE MATTHEWS FUCKIN' BOOTLEG LIST? MY MOST HATED CELEBRITY FACIAL WARTS???? FUCK YOU. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM????????????????

3. I wonder if they'll refill my Oxycodone script.

4. OH, ALSO- STOP USING MY BLOG FOR THE BIG GRAND FUNK FAN REUNION SITE. I WAS NICE ABOUT IT BEFORE. GRAND FUNK SUCKS. I DID THAT POST BECAUSE THEY WERE THE SUCKIEST BAND I COULD THINK OF TO MAKE A POINT. I'M FUCKING UP TO HERE WITH GETTING EMAILS ABOUT "MEETING MEL SCHACHER IN SHEBOYGEN IN 1972". JESUS CHRIST. FUCK OFF. I MEAN IT. YOUR GRASP OF IRONY IS TRULY SYMPTOMATIC. GO TO SOME OTHER ASSHOLE'S BLOG. YOU IDIOTS.

FUCKING MEL SCHACHER. GIVE ME A BREAK. WELCOME TO THE FUCKING 70'S YOU IDIOTS.

9 Comments:

Blogger Employee of the Month said...

Bob,
Hop a plane, I will meet you at the gate, walk up to me with a confident stride and punch me full-on in the gut, as I must confess a secret desire for an Audi. Just looking to get my mind right. I obviously have learned nothing by hanging with you. Sorry.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Daddy-o!!

Heck I'm just glad you're still speaking to me after I mistook you for th' Marquis d'Evremonde!

Dude, there ain't nothin' wrong with a secret desire! I've got a secret desire for Angela Lansbury! Woah! I've got a secret desire for Barry Manilow's career! I've got a secret desire to go get some coke right now and BOOT it. Just COOK it down with bleach and hydrochloric acid and sheep piss or whatever you do and just get it into my arm.

Let us all pledge to leave one another's secret desires untrammeled and untrampled! A judgemental mothafuckah like me is *always* gonna be stubbin' a toe or two on the way to th' alter.

Just, man. Don't get th' Audi. See, you're not an a-hole for wanting an Audi. What I'm surmising is an actual Steven King-like thing where The Audi Makes You Evil. That's all I can figure.

Tell ya another thing- my sis has an Audi and she wouldn't let me borrow it to get a pack of fags. My BLOOD, man! Just because of that ONE head-on in Redondo Beach in '92 with the tequila and that.

It's SLOW, man. It's slow. That's th' danger.

10:37 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

I meant Th' Changeover To Evil. Not the Audi. Although I wouldn't KNOW, would I!!! Nooo...it's all "Redondo Beach this and Redondo Beach that".

10:38 PM  
Blogger fgfdsg said...

Didn't comment on your last post because there was no way I could comment after all that. It's how i feel when i wake up and just see civilisation going around in stupid circles, getting nowhere.

2:24 AM  
Blogger fgfdsg said...

Shit, at least you didn't give up blogging over three weeks ago and only have two people notice.

Bang goes my whole audience of potential listeners. That's if i was bothering to record any of my shitty songs.

Sorry, arms killing me and making me grumpy as.

Thanks for sharing the beauty you create. Makes living on this shithole of a planet a little more bearable.

2:34 AM  
Anonymous Mark Farner said...

Mel quit. We need a bass-player. We heard you're pretty damn good.

7:36 AM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

Shit, Simon - I noticed and sent you an email. Did you get it?

Bobby, I have family driving Audis - company cars and that shit. They make a lot more money than I do. All's I know 'bout that.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Better warn them, man. I don't know how long It takes.

9:20 AM  
Blogger mdhatter said...

there is nothing Audi does that Volvo and Subaru don't do better.

good luck with the refill

symptomatic. yes.

3:26 PM  

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