Bobby Lightfoot Glances At The Charts #2: Coldplay; wonderful, ugly Coldplay.

Wonderful, spotty, bad-haired Coldplay. Wonderful, ugly, gangly, spotty Coldplay.

I hope you sell eight quintillion of your new record.

I reckon there'll be no air-humping in your video.

Coldplay is to Shakira

as

Garlic is to Vampires.

Wonderful, gangly, goofy Coldplay.

I'm handsomer than all of you.

I love you.

And thanks for lending me the rack tuner at Irvine Meadows in '01. I woulda been FUCKED. FUCKED.