Hey kids! I'm Jesus and here's why I'm killing all th' poor people!

Tsunamis! Katrina! Kashmir!! Tenement fires in Paris! Swine Flu! Poor people biffin' it faster than endangered species in a Exxon compound! Me fucking Christ! Why on Dad's green earth am I feeling so compelled to off fucking poor people!

It's simple, fuckers- you're takin' way too much shit lying down! The Plan was that by now you poor fuckers would be rising up and making pinatas out of Bill and Melinda and Trump and Cheney and them! What the fuck is your problem?? Do I hafta off another 20 thou of you cocks before you get the point? Pussies! Whatever happened to Liberte Egalite Fraternite?? What the fuck is wrong with you poor fucks? I thought for sure by now you'd be developing some sort of sense of justice and dragging soap stars through the streets by their entrails! Faggots!

Get with the program before I REALLY start unleashin' some category 7 shit. I mean it. I want heads on pikes. I want guillotines in front of every WalMart.

I thought for daddamned sure you guys wouldn't let Pervez Musharaf make a big fighter plane buy off th' U.S. while half you cocks are dying in the mountains of Kashmir. You fuckers will STAND FOR ANYTHING.

This is what I staged the whole fucking cross stunt for?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy shit, the Rebel Jesus takes to blogging. Where do I go to enlist?

3:51 AM  
Blogger teh l4m3 said...

But that Buddha guy told me the world is suffering, and that I'd best just get used to it!


12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, yeah- you'll still suffer. No question 'bout that.

Jiminy Christ

1:31 PM  

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