Th' Bobby Lightfoot Memorial Political Activism Knowledge Repository

What the fuck! It's gettin' serious! I keep thinking The Final Battle will be simple, with Us charging them across a razor-wire strewn field with Springfield carbines and cigars 'twixt our teeth. That I can hang with, man. Dodgin' bullets, plunging my bayonet into some fuckin' Rapturist or some god damn lobbyist. Up over th' wire, baby, blowing a fence with one of those tubey bombs like at Normandy. Goin' down in a 40 cal. spray, knowing I've been a little cog in Th' Machine Of Tomorrow, knowing my blood won't be spilled in vain.

It's really dawning on me that it isn't going to be that easy. And I can't fuckin' write songs about it. I just don't have the touch. My anger ends at my instrument and singing about getting out of Iraq now and fuckin' not assraping the planet for dimes just doesn't sound right when crooned to a Bacharachesque bed of cellos and pianos and 5 part harmonies.

I, we, need some simple fuckin' knowledge. I think a lot of us just need to know what to do to make ourselves heard in the sort of numbers that mean anything. I'm going to go out on a limb here and maybe set just the tinyest precedent by saying, hey, I'm a member of this community and I need to know some shit I can do.

A lot of people taken together equals a lot of knowledge, you know? I mean like 20th century-style knowledge. Not this "truthy" wikipedia fuckin' crap. I mean like big boy knowledge. All the grassroots shit. Numbers you can call. A way you can stay abreast of demonstrations and fuckin' be in them instead of just driving by and honking and wishing you'd known.

And I'm not talking about this fuckin' PETA crap either, where you do some crap or put a sticker on a gas pump that sez welcome to the republican economy and then the fuckin' poor retarded dude who makes fi'-fifty an hour has to fucking lick it off and the god damn station only makes one tenth of a fuckin' penny a gallon anyway.

Don't get me wrong; if you want to drop a fucking cap in any of our so-called leaders, dude, you can sleep in my basement, you know? These people are darker beings than I could conjure in my pussy-ass little nightmares. Change is never fuckin' easy. And the way things are going it's starting to look like harmless statements like th' one above could actually land a dickdangler in actual trouble. Look for martial law, my country gentlemen. And I don't mean by '15 or '16. I mean next week. It's What's Next, right? I'm talking tribunals and review boards and complete suspension of civil liberties.

Man, they've been plotting this shit since old Dickface there turned us into a third-world country with beggars and everything in the 80's. Sweet. And these Roves and Cheneys and Wolfershitzels looked up and they were like woah, people are actually falling for this crazy, talentless old man and his nursing home ravings. If we could get some completely helpless retard into the Oval Orifice we could turn this whole country into a money printing machine until it just rolls right off the showroom floor and through the plate glass window and we'll be sitting safe and sound in MacMunchen.

And they were very patient and very cunning, cunning in the way people who get rich by turning a turd into a slightly prettier turd are. Cunning in the way people who get rich by turning ten fuckin' clams into $10.03 are. Yeah, you remember- we knew these guys in school, man. They're all in their fuckin' 40's and 50's, man. I remember Phillip Savoy and how I grabbed his glasses and stomped them in the locker room because I KNEW he was going to be pulling America's brain out through its nose in 30 years, man.

And now it's all this. See how they did it? We're like fuckin' Indians and we've just realized it would probably be a really good idea to kill all the guys that rode in on that ship with the weird sails. We have to drag ourselves out of our smoke lodges and marvel at the white man's medicine, and can we master th' white man's medicine?

Sure th' fuck we can.

See, with Th' Bobby Lightfoot Memorial Political Activism Knowledge Repository everybody can just fuckin' write in with some shit you can do or what Th' Man's fuckin' phone number is or if you Only Make 22 K a year here's the one cause or campaign you should actually fuckin' break down and donate your polesmokin' fifty spot to.

Actually, all I really want is to know some stupid things I can fucking do instead of taking it out on myself. You know, the sort of thing that's stupid until a million fuckin' people do it and then suddenly it's markedly unstupid.

I'm starting Th' Bobby Lightfoot Memorial Political Activism Knowledge Repository right here in this blog entry on ?????? ??? ???, '06. I will link back to it every couple of days.

Congresspeople's phone numbers, man. What you can do with email campaigns and th' web and all that crap. See, I'm in the god damn dark and I'm ADMITTING IT right now so maybe a light can be shone. I think everybody's like me, waiting for a sign that's never going to come until we all have to move to Antwerp and then we can't and suddenly we're in these cattle cars going to Texas.

Where are the corporate-owned billboards you can spraypaint IMPEACH on at 3 in th' morning? Where are pissed-off people getting together around this great land? All we have to do is do what the fuckin' guys with the weird sails did. That crazy white man's medicine.

A lot of people, just waiting. And we can all read this crap and figure out where to start with this fuckin' thing. All this is going to be starting up now, as the balance of our government tips from merely Criminally Reprehensible to How The Fuck Did This Happen. It's all going to start up because we suddenly have a government that tortures and imprisons people in scores and engages the world without conscience. We have a government that is allowing the country to crumble from the inside out and the more common your common man is the more obvious it is to him as the place literally crumbles, man. Streets and power grids and schools and everything, just rotting and looking ill-kempt like that neighborhood your mom told you to never walk through. And that sour desperate little knot you get every morning as you turn on the news. And how we all stand around and shrug our shoulders at the rest of the world while our government opposes ceasefires in wars that are killing civilians and children way, way into the hundreds. And convenes at 2AM on a Friday to hammer th' fucking Paris Hilton tax into the Minimum Wage Bill.

I really hate these fucking guys. I really want to for once be involved in a winning venture. Everything I've ever done has been a brilliant failure. I've never even worked for a company in my pre-stardom days that wasn't a fuckin' quintillion dollars in the red except when I fixed fucking Defense computers in San Diego. No, those guys were well, well into Profitability. And stupid enough to give me a Secret clearance. Fuckin' earnest, bespectacled little baby killers. Tell you what; I might be poor forever but I'll never ever suck a fucking tenth of a fucking centime out of being a Schrader Valve in the Baby Killing Machine.

And honestly it's opening up that same old wound being on The Losing Team. Fucking up like this? Blowing it the way we are?

This isn't just some screed, man. I don't want some kooky neo-something conspiracy website. I want to get together the sort of knowledge that hard-working, tax-paying, good-healthcare- wanting adults can have access to so they can make activism something they can feel a part of and give a little bit of time to. Because seriously, you know how it is. If a ton of people do one fucking little stupid thing it's important all of a sudden. Look at how these guys zeroed in on the Christer Demographic. The timing was admirable.

Th' Bobby Lightfoot Memorial Political Activism Knowledge Repository. Submit early and often. When th' blog is up link to it. And tell people who know some shit to write in. Dude, just start with a phone number or something. It seems like common enough knowledge that all this crap starts up locally, too. I think that's were it's at. They just got that new god damn school council in Kansas today, man. It's tiny and then there it is all over the "news".

I'm telling you, man- all this is going to be starting up now. The Middle East is going to go Code Red and we're going to up to our fucking chests in it. And if you think Iraq is bad, oh, man. Iraq is going to look like th' invasion of Panama when we start getting into Syria and Leb and then it's a faceoff with Iran or Korea coming up and our brilliant strategy involves this goofy little back-rubbing, pigroast-anticipating, pretzel-horking cunt of a man standing there and going betcha won't...betcha won't...you won't hit us with those fucking weapons we sold you that you actually manufactured and THEN we sold them to you. And meanwhile Stateside no one who has less than ten million dollars need do anthing but fuck out cannon fodder.

If you think I'm being alarmist or kooky just pull your head out of your ass, man.


Blogger roxtar said...

Here's some shit I've done, and some shit I should be doing.

Learn to fish.
Become proficient with a weapon.
Wood stove.
Cistern to store rain water.
Study the constitution and learn your rights.
Own some land with trees (fuel) and animals (food).
Basic to intermediate understanding of first aid and emercency medical care.

Should be doing:
Independent source of electricity (solar, wind, etc.)
Big ass garden.
Get a bicycle and spare tubes, tires, etc.
Personal face-to-face network of kindred spirits (they aren't going to let us have these internets when the shit goes down).
Read "Steal This Book" again.

Just scratching the surface.

7:21 AM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

Sweetie, I'm worried I am going to see your compound surrounded by some FBI men some day.

Nevertheless, great idea! I am for a fuck 'em up campaign.

3:21 PM  
Blogger roxtar said...

For example...do you have any idea how much havoc you can wreak with a small chainsaw and a well-felled tree?

5:57 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Viva la motherfuckin' lucha, baby.

6:19 PM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

I've started speaking up.

The other day I was buying a bottle of wine and the lady behind the counter (50-ish - maybe 15 pounds too many but a nice smile in spite of her circumstances...)

"Me? I'm tired. I work two jobs because I have to. Work too many hours."

"I'm going to say something that isn't too popular down here in 'th'south:'

Start voting democrat!" and she says, just above a whisper:

"I know. $400 per month in the winter to heat my damn house."

I said, "People down here making 18 grand a year voting Repbulican - they need to figure this out" and she said,

"yeah buddy."

8:07 PM  
Blogger Neddie said...

Don't you go thinkin' some o' that shit wasn't foremost in the Jingo Mind when I moved the brood out to th' country right before the 2004 Election.

My proppity ain't just remote -- it's defendable. Big ass garden -- check (although I stopped growing asses in it the first year -- they ain't as self-fertilizing as they advertise...) Firewood and wildlife fer eatin' -- check. Bicycles an' replacement parts -- check. (Did you know NO parts for bikes are made in the USA now? huh? DID YOU?) Well-water -- check. Face-to-face network? Hmmm. Gonna have to work on my People Skills -- I'm not a big fan.

Upshot? The shit goes down, every one of you fumapolios is welcome at Jingo Acres -- as long as you bring a musical instrument, a rifle, or some weed. We'll sit the fuckers out in style.

2:12 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

I'm two for three, bra.

Now I just got to get an instrument.

4:22 PM  

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