4/20/2007

Th' Baby Jeebiz Game


Yeah, we haven't played at Bargaining With The Creepster for way too long. Here's what we do: pick worthwhile people who died and offer baby Jeekers an alternative sacrifice. It's th' third stage of bereavement, man: bargaining.

This week I've got thirty-two names and it's going to be a spot of work so let's get on with it. I will put down the name of someone and the proposed switch.


Ross Abdallah Alameddine--------- Alberto Gonzalez

Christopher James Bishop------- Rush Limbaugh

Brian Bluhm--------- Donald Trump

Ryan Clark-------- Exxon CEO Lee Raymond

Austin Cloyd--------- Bill O'Reilly

Jocelyne Coutere-Nowak---------- Barbara Bush

Kevin Granata----------- Simon Cowell

Matthew Gwaltney---------- Paul Wolfowitz

Caitlin Hammaren--------- Katie Couric

Jeremy Herbstritt-------- John McCain

Rachael Elizabeth Hill---------- Anne Coulter

Emily Hilscher----------- Paris Hilton

Jarrett Lane------------ Dennis Hastert

Matthew J. La Porte------------ Dick Cheney

Henry Lee----------------- Ed Bennet, CEO of VH1

Don Ho----------------- Mark Mays, CEO of Clear Channel Communications

Liviu Librescu------------- that fucking ghoul Kissinger

G.V. Loganathan----------- Pat Dollard

Partahi Lumbantoruan------------ Roger Ailes, CEO of Fox News

Lauren McCain----------------- Paris Hilton

Daniel O'Neil---------- Google CEO Eric Schmidt

Juan Ramon Ortiz-------------- Silvio Berluscone

Minal Panchal----------- Josh Groban

Daniel Perez Cueva---------- Tony Blair

Erin Peterson------------ Regina Spektor

Mike Pohle------------- Karl Rove

Julia Pryde-------------- Avril Lavigne

Mary Read-------------- US House Representative Jean Schmidt

Reema Samaha----------- Richard fucking Perle

Waleed Shaalan----------- Toby Keith

Leslie Sherman------------ NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker

Maxine Turner------------- OJ Simpson

Nicole White------------ Condoleeza Rice


Whaddya say, Creepus? Come through for fucking once, nailhands.

4 Comments:

Blogger Larry Jones said...

Plumbing new depths, I see.

But do you really think His Most Sanctified Holiness will give back two for Paris Hilton?

11:31 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

If Paris could die twice I'd throw myfuckinself in the pot.

12:16 AM  
Anonymous mdhatter said...

Kurt Vonnegut .... Paul Wolfowicz

but what would happen to art in the presence of such justice?

7:02 PM  
Anonymous flem snopes said...

Molly Ivins for Michelle Malkin.

Ann Richards for Christine Todd Whitman.

Duane Allman for Taylor Hicks.

And by the way, Dick Cheney is already dead and conducting Satan's business here on Earth.

10:49 AM  

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