5/30/2007

My Shredding Generation Smokes Your Gayass Generations.

APPROPRIATING CRAZY NEGRO RHYTHMS TO WHITE POP MUSIC



Woah! I have to puke on your shoe!

I hope this record's over before I come down or I'll realize how PUTRID it is!

















Short, sharp, shocked: Talented, brilliant and ADORABLE.

Eeee-yo, motherfucker.








Limp Bizkit! YOUR suck generation's fault, kids!

Deal with it!








DRUGS





Boomers: LSD: nO HAppY CAmpERS.












My Assrocking Generation: Ooooh! Look at the CRYSTALS. Look at the lattice-like PERFECTION. So natural, so useful.

My last name is...?















This stupid generation: Crystal Meth. Wow, that looks like so much fun. Let's go to Woodstock '09 and shoot 30 people like that COOL guy.

OR maybe we can just stay home and go on MySpace and EAT OUR OWN FUCKING SKIN OFF.




WARS




Nice going, ASSHOLES. How do you sleep?

I'm fucking GLAD we spent your social security on smart fuckin' bombs.














Quick, painless.

Maybe th' politest war EVAH!

Three cheers for MY generation. Not trying to cause a big sensation!









IRAQ: Year Four.

This here is one Piece Of Shit War, my friends.

Congratufuckinglations, little Moral-Values Rovesuckers.

Fuck you for this. I'll never fucking forgive you for this or for MySpace.






SEX SYMBOLS:





Jane Fonda, you guys?

Didn't she fight for th' NVA see above???

I mean, if TRAITORS get you going I guess that's your prerog, man.












Steamy, brilliant, vulnerable.

Empowered.

Bush like the BLACK FOREST. Like it SHOULD BE. None of this weird modern landing strip crap.

Pale, milky skin, a bush like a Bantu priestess and yes, that most holy of female holy grails- no tattoos. Sex with a Strat*.

*yeah I know it's a tele






Hey, thanx for Paris, Gen Y. Oh, she's a treat. A treat. The hottest, foulest, sickest little moneygrubbing trollop to ever strangle dogs for sexual release. Oh, to be th' pea under her 23 mattresses. Be still my congealing fucking heart.

Little fucking parasites. Little robot consumers. Thanks for Paris. LOL! KMFDM! IMHO!

U R assholes.

dot com.

Why don't you kids run out and buy something.

Because that's WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT.

Fucking zombies.







EPOCH-DEFINING ROCK FESTIVALS:

Woodstock!

Clapstock!

Self-Indulgo-stock!

Right?

LOOK AT THOSE DISGUSTING, FILTHY, BORING HIPPIES. WIDDLE-FUCKING WIDDLE, YOU FOUL HIPPIES.




LIVE AID, BABY!

Th' entire continent of Africa was all a-click with the news of heap good food that day!

And Duran Duran looked RAVISHING.







Heyyy! Woodstock '99!

If you don't give me your fucking Ketamine I'll stab you to death with my Anthony fucking Keidis action figure!

Nice GOING, guys.






PRESIDENTS!




Cooling his heels in Hell!

That's a big zero for th' Trickster!















Energy and Environment Visionary, Avatar of Peace, inventor of The Internet. A laying-on of his hands will very likely clean up unsightly excema.

A perfect 10 of presidential, um, ness.








Hole-in-watermelon-fucking, compulsively-lying, quadruple-dealing spoiled-brat little shitbag for whom an entire New Wing will have to be added in Hades. No doubt on a No-Bid contract with some shit bag mob outfit like fucking Bechtel or Shitwater.

Possibly the biggest dirt bag currently drawing breath on Planet Earth. The nexus, the event horizon of this entire shitty world.

NICE GOING, ASSHOLES.







SCARY BLACK REBEL MEN THAT MAKE YOU FEAR FOR YOUR DAUGHTER





Sly? Sly?

Guy fights like a little bitch.














Bob Marley:

Fucking SHREDDED at Live Aid.
















Woah! The sweet, cloying smell of teargas follows this sick little murdering turd like a bad fart.

Down with Scoop Doggy Poop!

Down with his generation! Buyin' and killin' more and more every day.



'Nuff said! Lightfoot out!

Labels:

7 Comments:

Blogger bobby lightfoot said...

"the entire continent of Africa was all a-click..."

Ha ha ha! That is th' funniest thing on the interweb right....right....NOW.

Just like my music- I don't need ANY of you fucking BITCHES to enjoy th' brilliance of my output.

HA HA HA HA!

Y'all can go read some other boring crap. Read about some old rock 'n' roll hazzbeen and his struggles with fucking dandruff.

All a-click!! DO I HAVE TO FUCKIN' EXPLAIN IT, LADIES????


'nuff sed.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

So which generation am I part of? I can't think because I'm stoned and listening to the Pretenders.

3:40 PM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

Er, I think MY generation gave you guys Carter. YOUR generation gave us Reagan...

Funny-ass-post tho...

fsgsxbcg

9:11 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Kevin- you're th' RIGHT generation. Is it wrong that I'm essentially equating womanhood with a luxuriant netherpelt? My assrocking generation: raised on Hustler.

Viscmeister- I knew someone would call me on that. I have no answer. Just tryin' to gloss it over.

11:55 PM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

Cheer up.


Sorry about that - hope this makes up for it!

All kidding aside - what say we do this one at the big 50th?

7:28 AM  
Blogger AG said...

Just 'cause Marley died in '81 and Live Aid happened in '85 doesn't make the fact that he shredded @ Live Aid untrue -- jsut true on a *deeper* level. (Like the man said, "Forget it. He's rolling.")

6:11 AM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Bob Marley's dead?

11:00 AM  

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