Can't We All Just Not Get Along?

Man ever since I clocked that fuckin' twit to within an inch of his life in '00 for letting his pitbull get a hold of Sal Th' Feist I've sworn off violence of any sort. It can possibly be cool when you're 18 and it's about some sort of justice but it just isn't something th' well-adjusted over-30 dude does. Plus, the universe works against you for 30 seconds and you'll find yourself with a legal fucking nightmare. That's what happens in the real world. Along with all the other lame crap like me not being th' singer for Maroon5 and not having tube microphones and a Bosendurmfer piano. Fuckers are like 15 feet long, man. That is a fucking SUV of an instrument right there. You could play fucking Medicine Square Garden without amplification with that shit. Tori Anus did it in '75.

So I had a rub w/ a trucker th' other day and I called him "Mr. Snippy Pants" and that ended it pretty fast. "Is the heat getting to you, Mr. Snippy Pants?"

When was th' last time you hauled off on someone for calling you "Mr. Snippy Pants"?

And that is my counsel to you this day.