As Sex Positions Shall They Live On.

"The Bush"- Woman on top; thrusting hits man's head repeatedly against headboard or wall so he doesn't know where he is. This is smokin'.

"The Cheney"- man shoots by mistake and has heart attack.


"The Rumsfeld"- Man doggedly pursues woman day in and day out until she finally relents. When they are naked he doesn't know what to do. Then he doesn't know when to leave.

"The Rove"- Repulsive man somehow convinces woman he is incredibly attractive, then when he seduces her and she realizes he's a pig, he takes all her money.

So! Let's hear some g'damn more, malchicks!


Blogger roxtar said...

The Fitz:

Take a row of middle-aged Republican white men of privilege. Bend them over a long, boardroom table. Plug each starfish while shouting "Let's see if it FITZ!"

6:25 AM  
Anonymous general brentmeister, the said...

The "Contender for the UK Liberal Democrat Party Leadership" position - you lay wanking on the floor whilst a teenage rentboy shits in your mouth.
Um... allegedly
ullxx of Kintyre, oh xxxing mist rolling in from the xxxing sea

7:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You've out done yourself this time. I've just embarrased myself by sitting here at my desk laughing hysterically. No one knows why.

Lori Lightfoot

10:04 AM  
Blogger Employee of the Month said...

The Condolizza:

A half-hearted handlob with no lube and it only costs $5,000.

zhjez - it writes itself

10:40 AM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

The everybody but US position:

We all bend over and take it all day everyday. Some of us complain and some hand them the vaseline....

2:36 PM  
Blogger XTCfan said...

The Santorum: (n.) A frothy mix of lubrication and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of certain sexual activities, such as those referenced by the Viscount, above. Ref. Rick Santorum, R-PA.

Oh. Wait. You wanted something made up, and that's an actual definition.

Oh well, what can taqdqqu?

5:06 PM  
Blogger Neddie said...

Th' Frist: Raid the Long-Term Care Ward for the hottest li'l Veg you can find. Apply medically expert cunnilingual ministrations. Every once in a while raise your shiny face and say, "See that? She twitched! She fuckin' loves it!"

For extra points, pay a nurse to chuckle you under the testicles while whispering HCA stock prices into your ear.

iyaapl doesn't fall far from the tree....

3:59 PM  

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