An Afternoon Rev'rie.

I'm at a function at th' White House. My, doesn't my grey Prada suit look sharp. Hey, how did I manage to get this .38 snubnose in here? Woah! An' a speedloader! I can get off twelve shots in 12 seconds! Sweet, dude!

George Bush is making a speech to th' inner circle. I make my way to th' podium and pow! pow! pow! Two in th' polesmokin' head and one in the chest! I'm a hero!

At the swearing in of President Cheney...

Hang on-

I'm at a function at th' White House. I'm looking sharp in a blue pinstripe double-breasted number from Armani. Casual elegance. Casual. How'd I get this .38 snubnose in here? Crazy! George and Dick are chucklin' at the podium. Up comes that heavy li'l piece. Bam! Bam! Bam bam bam! Those two cocks go down like potatoe (sic) sacks, motherfucker! It's all over! You can't shovel brains back in, dawg!

At the swearing in of Condoleeza Rice...

Wait. Never mind-

Function at th' White House. Nice kelly green Kenneth Cole number. .38 snubber. George, Dick and Condoleeza jawin' by the champagne fountain. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, click. Dead. Brains everywhere. I'm a hero.

At th' swearing in of Donald Rumsfeld...

Fuck. Hang on-

Function. Blue Prada suit. Nice. .38. George, Dick, Condie, Donald. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, click. Reload. Bam, bam, bam. Brains. Dead. Hero.

At th' swearing in of Dennis Hastert...

God damn it.

I'm lounging on a heart-shaped waterbed in a suite in th' Dorchester Hotel in London with Liz Hurley and Natalie Portman. The hookah bubbles languidly.

That's better.