God Damn, I'm Jealous Of Old People.

God damn. I'm jealous of the old people. That's a first. Why? Because they got to live in a better world, as far as I'm concerned. I mean, it wasn't all peaches and regalia, Christ knows. But these days a fella just doesn't know what to think.

I'll tell you one thing- I would have left an arm on the beach at Normandy to live in the time of Cole Porter and FDR and Billie Holiday and Duke Ellington and Tommy Dorsey and Tracey and Hepburn. I shit you not. I would have left it there with a god damn bow on it. Here's a nice arm for you, Fritz. Now let me live in a pre-digital, pre-solid state pre-cable, pre-cell phone pre-American Idol, pre-Paris Hilton, pre-Dick Chaney world like a MAN. LIKE A FUCKING MAN.

I think old people are laughing at us, because they know they had it good and they can fuck off sooner than us and leave this pusbag world to us suckers.

God damn, I'm jealous of old people.