Here, Malchicks, Is The Answer.

Woah! Heavy.

I don't think I'd be accused in a big hurry of having any sort of misplaced faith in th' human animal. 'Tis what is it. Until they perfect god damn androids (next year) this is who we have to hang out with and play music with and work with and drink with and fuck.

That being said, let me tell you something I've learned which you probably have as well. The something is this: every creature has its nature. In understanding any sentient being the biggest key is to be found in the nature of th' thing.

Many of us delude ourselves into thinking someone's nature is something that it isn't so that we can more easily hang with it. This, of course, backfires eventually. The beauty of understanding someone's nature, of striving to understand someone's true nature, is that all the questions we pose to ourselves about that person can be answered in th' striving.

I look, of course, at the nature of bands. I've had a lot of them and I've been the leader of a few. If you want a certain thing, if you want a drummer who is sympathetic to a song or a guitarist who understands the power of dynamics, get one. Don't get someone else and try to impose it on them.

This is why I envy the succesful bandleader. When you have the power and cash and cache to assemble a band, you have the ability to define what you want and get the appropriate personnel rather than going about it the other way. The Unsettled Way. Look at that fucker Sting, for example. He picks a band based on the demands of a project. If he wants a consummate pro he just picks up th' phone and calls Christian McBride or some crap. He decides what it is he wants and just plugs in the right humans. What a god damn luxury.

It works with any situation. I've finally come to understand it over the last few years. Learn someone's nature. Take your time. Coworkers, lovers, bandmates. And remember- people will often try to hide their true nature when they want in bad enough. But it'll rise to th' surface in time.

Never expect anyone to operate against their nature. It runs too deep. Not only that, it's the key to their own uniqueness. You might not want a lover who insists on walking on you in stilletoes but you might someday. You just might. For now, let them find someone who craves it, daddy.

And don't be angry when people refuse to operate against their nature. They can't. They can't. Be big enough and strong enough to not expect the impossible.

And listen to Bobby Lightfoot songs. Daily. All sorts of wisdom is backmasked into that shit.

Oh, and don't forget- a stitch in time leaves th' whole polesmokin' world blind.


Blogger XTCfan said...

The Unsettled Way.

Which, of course, explains the high mortality rate of bands that rely on self-assembly. And the magic of it all, when it does work.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Bobby Lightfoot said...

Yeah- there's nothing prettier than two or more people who want the same thing.

Except when it's like, to kill all Jews or some shit.

11:18 PM  
Blogger roxtar said...

Completely off topic, but I'd like to report the first use of the word "pole-smoker" in a situation comedy.

'Twas in the first episode of "Lucky Louie", a truly filthy family sitcom now showing on HBO. I recommend it to your attention.....

5:41 AM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

My band is finally out and gigging. We aren't that good but people like us because we have some personality.

I have to live with a couple of things that go against my nature, because they go along with the nature of the band.

1) The drummer (who also sings lead and has the audience eating out of his hand) knows exactly one kick pattern.

"and1-and2-and3-and4" - makes my job that much easier and that much more boring.

2) If you play the Atlanta area, you MUST play pole-smoking "Sweet Home Alabama."

3) I traded never playing one damn Journey song for "Squeezebox" and who knows what else down the road.

I accept it. It is near impossible to get 4 or 5 guys over 40 to show up to practice sober and stay together long enough to even play one gig.

7:15 AM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

I want me an android.

Viscount: But, Atlanta isn't in Alabama!

3:29 PM  

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