Bobby Lightfoot's Socratic Method of Fuckin' Reasoning Week: Tuesday

Let us consider that you are a person who, in our free and open society, makes the legal and reasonable choice to keep their feces in a large jar under their bed. Let us henceforth surmise that in times of stress you find relaxation and release in removing said feces from the jar and rubbing it upon your face and about your person.

Let us for an instant consider that while rubbing the feces that you have removed from the jar upon your face and person you are seized with a sudden desire to stand on a stool and back up against a large bronze hook on the wall, kick the stool out and hang yourself rectally from the hook.

Strictly, strictly for the purposes of this academic exercise let us for a moment consider that while you hang rectally from the bronze (in this instance) hook covered in feces everyone else in the room decides to play Stratego.