Doctor Devendra Answers Your Vexing Rock Health Questions #7

Dear Doctor DiVendra,

My expelled intestinal gasses smell like Altoids and my breath smells like excrement.

What do I suffer from?


Dear Esteemed Mr. Lynne;

I am so very sorry for your health issues, but am unfortunate to say I cannot address them here at the Rock Health Forum. It would be disprofessional for to tend to you.

Dear friend, I must be of high ethnical standing and refer you, as I did with the Carpal Tunnel issues of Mark Farner, to Dr. Dipak Chadragesh's Answers To Your Gayass Stinky Crappo Poop Music Health Questions.

The blessings of a million floating Ganges logs unto you, sir. Please to stop making music!

Dr. Anoush Devendra, Rock Doctor.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I confess to a fondness for Jeff Lynne - he's an interesting performer, and he can right crystalline melodies that remind me of the similarly fantastic melodies of a certain guy named Rufus. Of course, ELO is embarrassingly bombastic and pretty pretentious, but the songs themselves ain't bad.

Still, though, they're worth poking fun at, no question. Do you know the Randy Newman song "Story of a Rock & Roll Band"? Pretty nasty, even for a Randy Newman song.

10:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I mean an interesting producer.

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

I'm so glad we got that all cleared up with Dr. D.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

What's that smell?

3:52 PM  
Blogger fgfdsg said...

*Ducks to avoid the inevitable explosion once the good Doctor realises Jeff is being compared to Rufus*

4:49 PM  
Blogger fgfdsg said...

Dear Dr. Rock,

I'm that annoying inexplicably-popular female singer from 'No Doubt' and even I'm confused by my new single.

I've forgotten if sampling 'The Lonely Goatherd' from 'The Sound Of Music' was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek post-modern irony, deliberately trying to create a disposable novelty-single, or a blind admission that the song had no discernable hook or melody of its own.

Which is it? Help!

Yours untalentedly,

6:28 PM  
Blogger The Viscount LaCarte said...

This one made my day. Thanks.

And thanks for the link Ben to one of the few RN songs that I can stand, mostly because I dislike ELO's music more than I dislike his own.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

Dear Dr Devendra Banhart:

Am I even allowed to ask you a question? As a working musician, I have no health care.

Please advise.


4:18 PM  

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