2/20/2007

Th' Soulfinger Diaries, or, Clearly The Veil I'm Using In My Thinly-Veiled Contempt For Humanity Needs To Be Upgraded To A Slightly Thicker Veil


2.25.07:


Insane Drunk Female In Front Row: BLEAAAGGGHGHH BLEAHGGGG

Bobby Lightfoot: Did you forget your anti-psychotic medication?

Audience: Ha ha ha.

IDFIFR: FLEEEUUUUURRRRD! BLLEEEAEOORORRROBUBBBUBBUB

BL: Is that white van with th' flashing lights in the parking lot for you?

Audience: Haaa haa haaa ha.

IDFIFR: Fuuuuckkkkk yyyyyooeeeeewwwww

BL: I don't come to your job and slobber and scream at you while you make license plates.

Audience: HAA HAA HA.

IDFIFR: III'MMMM GOONNNGGA KICK YERRR ASSSHHHHHHHOTOFOFHKLJGH FSDKJH

BL: Yeah, I don't come to your job and cackle and blow snot on you while you taste-test urine.

Audience: OOOOhhhhhhh.....



2.24.07:

Wacky Chick That's Been Giving Me The Hairy Eyeball Over Her Date's Shoulder All Night:
So, are you married?

Bobby Lightfoot: Yes, I actually have three wives and they're all here tonight.

WCTBGMTHEOHDSAL:
Don't you think I still have a nice body?

BL: I can't really compare because I didn't know you when you were 78.

WC: Do you love Christ?

BL: I think she's a filthy rat fucker.



2.23.07:

Jazz Aristocracy (on trombone):
BLLLLL BLLL BLLAASAAAPPP

Ace McClintock (on upright bass): BLLLLOOOONT. BLOOBBOOOBBOOO

Bobby Lightfoot: Bleagh. How unspeakable.

JA: Man, when I used to play with Charles Mingus we used to do this. He called it "Arguing With The Wife"....he'd go blertttt treelerrrrrnt and I'd go bllaappsplaaapp...

BL: I bet even that sounded bad.



Labels: , , ,

4 Comments:

Anonymous charles mingus said...

Who cares?

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a relief. I had always thought if I had made it as an artist, I wouldn't have to deal with hateful psychopaths such as I wrestle with in the corporate world. But ha! What do you know....they're everywhere. Like roaches.
Rache

12:24 PM  
Blogger Larry Jones said...

Damn those pesky customers!

4:24 PM  
Blogger bobby lightfoot said...

Hee hee. If I've given any impression that I've "made it as an artist" I'm guilty of _actionable_ hyperbole. But I do like the way it sounds.

Yeah, Larry! Especially th' ones that want to fuck you. Hags.

Still, I gotta say, nothing stills my loins faster than th' mention of Jeebus.

Where Jeebus Walks, Evil Lurks.

It's been proven time and time again.

8:47 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home