Th' Soulfinger Diaries, or, Clearly The Veil I'm Using In My Thinly-Veiled Contempt For Humanity Needs To Be Upgraded To A Slightly Thicker Veil
2.25.07:
Insane Drunk Female In Front Row: BLEAAAGGGHGHH BLEAHGGGG
Bobby Lightfoot: Did you forget your anti-psychotic medication?
Audience: Ha ha ha.
IDFIFR: FLEEEUUUUURRRRD! BLLEEEAEOORORRROBUBBBUBBUB
BL: Is that white van with th' flashing lights in the parking lot for you?
Audience: Haaa haa haaa ha.
IDFIFR: Fuuuuckkkkk yyyyyooeeeeewwwww
BL: I don't come to your job and slobber and scream at you while you make license plates.
Audience: HAA HAA HA.
IDFIFR: III'MMMM GOONNNGGA KICK YERRR ASSSHHHHHHHOTOFOFHKLJGH FSDKJH
BL: Yeah, I don't come to your job and cackle and blow snot on you while you taste-test urine.
Audience: OOOOhhhhhhh.....
2.24.07:
Wacky Chick That's Been Giving Me The Hairy Eyeball Over Her Date's Shoulder All Night: So, are you married?
Bobby Lightfoot: Yes, I actually have three wives and they're all here tonight.
WCTBGMTHEOHDSAL: Don't you think I still have a nice body?
BL: I can't really compare because I didn't know you when you were 78.
WC: Do you love Christ?
BL: I think she's a filthy rat fucker.
2.23.07:
Jazz Aristocracy (on trombone): BLLLLL BLLL BLLAASAAAPPP
Ace McClintock (on upright bass): BLLLLOOOONT. BLOOBBOOOBBOOO
Bobby Lightfoot: Bleagh. How unspeakable.
JA: Man, when I used to play with Charles Mingus we used to do this. He called it "Arguing With The Wife"....he'd go blertttt treelerrrrrnt and I'd go bllaappsplaaapp...
BL: I bet even that sounded bad.
posted by bobby lightfoot at 16:49
4 Comments:
Who cares?
What a relief. I had always thought if I had made it as an artist, I wouldn't have to deal with hateful psychopaths such as I wrestle with in the corporate world. But ha! What do you know....they're everywhere. Like roaches.
Rache
Damn those pesky customers!
Hee hee. If I've given any impression that I've "made it as an artist" I'm guilty of _actionable_ hyperbole. But I do like the way it sounds.
Yeah, Larry! Especially th' ones that want to fuck you. Hags.
Still, I gotta say, nothing stills my loins faster than th' mention of Jeebus.
Where Jeebus Walks, Evil Lurks.
It's been proven time and time again.
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