A Couple Of Quick Fucking Lies.
Sometimes I have th' urge to sort of still the tempest of my psyche and just sort of once and for all try to be at peace with all that is around me. And I daydream about the sort of serenity that some people live with, and what it would be like to possess serenity like that.
That's a lie. I never have that fucking urge.
Sometimes I have the desire to stop living a threadbare existence as an artist and find some work that could be meaningful to me and allow me some financial freedom instead of always hustling and sucking little drops of cash out of the cracks in th' system. And I daydream about the sort of ease and luxury in which many live these days without care or money stress.
That's a lie. I never, ever have that fucking desire.
Sometimes when I'm driving home from a show at 4 AM I find a field and pull over and just go out in the field to admire the stars, arrayed like jewels across the black velvet night sky. I often think of the wonders of the universe and I'm humbled and made righteous by the sheer unmitigated tinyness of my footprint. And I'm grateful that I have a job that lets me hardly ever miss a sunrise.
That's a lie. I certainly never pull over to look at the fucking gayass stars. I'm too exhausted and the last thing on my mind is the stupid sunrise, which I for one could frankly live without. And I live with two fantastic children that live normal lives and it makes me feel like a god damn vampire to be honest with you. Staggering in at fucking 6 in the morning night after night. What kind of a fucking example is that? Jesus Christ. At least I don't drink much.
Oh, and the universe? The consarned universe can smoke m'pole. As far as I'm concerned the universe can smoke m'pole. As far as I'm concerned the whole thing was thrown up for my wanking pleasure. How about that?
There. I hope that makes up for that last unbelievably soft, shitty, self-obsessed and directionless post.