Bobby Don't You Drop That Fender Rhooodes Piano

In anticipation of "EMI" decorating sundry teen dramas and reality shows with my glorious output I'm on a remix/remaster kick.

Thousands of completists will surely need to have this shiny new remix of "Maybe Next Time". Makes the original sound like a lizard farting through waxpaper.

If this shitty download site doesn't work lemme know and I'll send you an mp3. Of course, now that this sounds so much better with a simple revisit, I'll have to redo god damn everything. I suppose it's better than drinking myself to th' other end of this dry spell.

Let's hear what you think of the new "deep house" groove and th' "reggaeton" breaks I've added.

Just kidding.

Oh, And By The Fuckin' Way

the thing with th' picture of dead Zarqawwi is so fucking third world tinpot scumbag. When I was a kid in fucking Oowagadoogoo I was always like I'm glad I'm from one of those countries where they don't put rebel leader's heads on pikes in the public square.

This image and this li'l circus, is to me actually the most fucked up thing in this latest fucked up "news cycle". Surely more disconcerted words have been spoken than I'm aware of.

This is so Pinochet, man. Totally Baby Doc.

I'm sure Ned will remember this chilling little book my dad had in Chile in '74- Chile- Ayer Y Hoy (Chile- Yesterday And Today). It was this twisted little bit of Pinochet/Junta propaganda put out right after th' revolution that showed how "bad" things were before and how "good" they were after th' coup.

Yeah, you used to see shit like this in th' Third World all the time. Like in Colombia where the papers would show th' latest throat-cutting techniques.

'Course, we're all living in the Third fucking World now. Ain't it grand. Like in Chile were they would have th' soccer stadium filled with dissidents and slowly off 'em. Look- here's an actual picture. No, I'm kidding- that's New Orleans.

Santiago de New Orleans.

Sorry Droogs- Had To Pull That Song.

Looks like my recording is going to shop th' song. Ain't my copyright so I can't be as freewheeling as I like to be with my own crap.

My utopian approach to distributing my own music derives mostly from my long-held conviction of its complete lack of commercial value.

Looks like "Heartbreak" might actually make th' author some dosh. When John Hiatt or Bonnie Raitt cuts it we can all pirate that.

Something, Anything

Here's a demo of me doing Joe Cifarelli's "Heartbreak" for th' upcoming Jack Douglas sessions.

I've turned it into a shiny Black Crowes FM radio joint. I needed to demo my voice for this thing and used th' Robert Lightfoot voice in some of the phrasing.

BTW that's a young Steven Tyler holding a revolver to producer Jack Douglas at th' birth of Aerosmith.

None of you have th' STONES to come to my blog and say something TOXIC just for Th' FUCK OF IT.

Top Ten Republican Fucking Rock Songs Of All Time

10. Th' Kids Are In Debt- The Who Cares

9. Jesus Best Be All Right With You- The Anti-Doobie Brothers

8. Too Rich To Fuck- The Dead Carnegies

7. Goodness Gracious Me (The Economy)- Marvin Straight

6. Guantanamera- Las Putas Feas

5. Let's Kill Some More Sand Negroes- Th' Left Behinds

4. I'm A Craven Shit And You're A Putrid Yeastbox- Carl 'n' Ann

3. The City Of New Orleans- Ian Dreary And Th' Breadheads

2. Fuck The Poor (Oh Wait I'm Poor)- The Bowhunters

1. No Evolution- The Sore Ass Alterboys


Now maybe that fucking millionaire Townsend'll leave me a fuckin' response. Rich old fuckin' pervert.